It was never supposed to be this way. Even if it ended, even if we weren’t meant to be. We were supposed to always be friends. Always care about each other. But now, everything is different. No messages exchanged. No words spoken.
I take the blame, for not listening, for not changing enough. But I never tried to hurt you, never intentionally.
In my panic, in all the pain, I ruined everything I could have had. And I don’t know which I regret more. Letting go when I shouldn’t have, or holding on til I couldn’t anymore. Would doing it differently have made a difference? I don’t expect you to understand how I feel, when I cant understand it myself.
Sometimes, I wonder what really went wrong. Then sometimes I wonder if anything was right to begin with. We knew before it begun, that it was never supposed to be. But still we gave it a try. So was it just fate that had finally taken its toll on us, or our own doings that had changed what fate had intended?
Will today be any different? Was yesterday? And what about tomorrow?
Shall I hope and wish and pray? And if I do, should it be for the luck to regain what I’ve lost, or the strength to search for what I’ve yet to discover? Who am I suppose to turn to for answers, but myself.
I miss being understood. I miss understanding you. It has been more than a month now. But somehow, it still feels like I was in your arms just yesterday. And I like remembering how it felt. So much so that if I had the chance to erase all memories of you, I don’t know if I would. The saddest part of all, is that….
I still love you, forever and a day.Its weird how you go from being strangers, to being friends, to being more than friends, to being total strangers again