Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world,
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking,
Just so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine, as children do.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I need a break from everything. I, Charissa Adeline, have decided that I shall be single, until I can no longer take being single anymore. Not such a bad thing right. Maybe I need to like, wait for love to find me again, in a few years time. Coz nothing and no one seems to be able to make me feel the way he did. I can’t be intimate anymore. Period. No conditions, no explanations. I just cant be intimate anymore. Honestly, it’s not that I dont want to, but everytime I let myself think of getting closer to someone in that way, I seem to automatically reject them, and then everything goes bad. It’s an absolute disaster.

I want to be happy. I want to be in love. I want to get married. I want to have kids. But perhaps my dream of having all that before I turn 25 is ridiculous. Well it certainly seems ridiculous now. I should have taken it when I had the chance to, instead of opting to wait. I keep thinking about it. Wondering how life would be if I had made different choices. But then I realise that there’s no point in thinking about it anymore, coz I cant change the past now, can I. Nothing’s ever gonna feel the same again. I guess i’ve just gotta accept that and learn to live with it. But I still want that happiness back. I still want that perfection I found in him. I still want him.

Whats life if it isn’t full of crap, right?

Advertisements

paint my page

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: