How is a crime for me to not want to fully let go of my past?
Is it my fault that I did not follow in your footsteps?
Is it so awful that I hold on to feelings longer than you do?
That I was so much in love that I still doubt I’d ever feel love like that again.
Do you think it is my choice to cry when I do, or go through the pain I go through?
Why do you say you’ll love me despite all that.
Then expect me to be comfortable with you?
I made it clear, that my past would be something you’d have to deal with.
For a really long time.
It is not my problem that you choose to stay with me for I never expected you to.
I still love him. I still care.
And yes, I still don’t understand why.
But I know I don’t want to let go of those feelings, or delete all those pictures.
I’m not living in the past, I’m merely holding on to it’s memories.
In time, I will forget how I ever felt through that phase of my life.
And I might never feel those feelings again.
So right now, while I still remember.
What harm does it do you if I cry when I do, or go through the pain I go through?
Learn to accept it or grow some balls and walk away.
Coz at this moment, no matter how much it hurts.
I do not want to let go of my past.
And if you really loved me.
You’d let me make that mistake.
You’d let me live that lie.
