Every smile hid a tear. Every laugh hid silence.
She was yet again hurt by something. It hurt even more when she felt accustomed to that feeling. Who feels welcomed in the arms of pain? At the back of her mind, the events of the year, the month, the day, the past hour even, taunted her. But because she was so used to the feeling, she managed to do what she had to without letting it show.
She is so good at hiding pain, she never confronted it. She never faced it. She never got over it. She merely left it there to remind her of her failures.
Then something made it crack. It was a common mistake. She felt pain, not the pain you feel inside, no, it was the pain you feel when u cut your finger, or fall. She didnt let the pain get to her, she thought it would pass, so she could just hide it later. But it didnt, then she felt the tears coming. She never cried. It was only anger that made her cry, but she had to be furious. Not even when the best thing in her life at the time left her standing alone did she shed a tear. But physical pain brought tears to her eyes.
As the pain died off, the tears still flowed. She finally faced it. She cried for her past love, she cried for her failures, she cried for the people who had hurt her, she cried for him cause he had her, but most of all, she cried for herself. For what she kept inside. For what she gave into. For how much she let happen to herself. She cried for hours. She sat in her room crying.
And after she cried, she didnt feel horrible. She felt happy. Cause she finally let it out.
It was the weirdest thing ever. But now, she holds nothing in. She looks back at what was and remembers it just as that, what was. Now she can finally look forward to what will be and she can finally have the good year she deserves.