Monthly Archives: November 2008


I spoke about you today.

I had to. As much as it hurt, I had to make them understand. It was never fair that you didn’t get the chance to live the life you deserved. But what made it unbearable was his claims that you never existed. That I lied. I fought for your existence. Knowing that they finally believed in you, that they finally understood brought such a comfort to me, I cried. But it was a cold comfort. And painful tears. Coz dealing with the decision I made is a never ending battle that I face everyday. Life goes on, and I continue living, the best that I can. But I will never forgive myself for giving up on you. For not being strong enough to let him go for you. I promise you this though. As long as I live, you will live through me. I think of you so very often, but today…

Today, I spoke about you.

to the person you used to be

Especially for…

You, who have brought back the light into my life…

You, who have given me the strength to survive…

You, who have taught me to laugh and smile like never before…

You, who have given me a reason to believe in love once more…

It took a certain kind of person, to mend my once broken heart… And i owe it all to you…It was Your touch, that sent shivers down my spine… Your hugs, that filled me up with warmth…Your kisses that so gently left me tingling and Your voice, that so often filled my eyes up with tears…

And even as the days and weeks go by now, i will never forget the first moments i shared with you…The initial feelings of confusion, not knowing what i felt for you… The shy glances and sweaty palms, probably things u never realised…But thankfully those feelings, didn’t have to last too long this time. Coz backing away for once in my life, had been the right choice… Things always have a way of working themselves out. Somehow or another.

So i guess it comes to show, how much we’re meant to be.

And even tho i’ll just be the first on a list to you, u’ll always be mr right to me.

I’m still afraid of losing you someday, of gettin hurt again. But i told myself, a long time ago, i shall never let that stop me from cherishing the moments i have with you.

I’ll take the future as it comes, and forget the past as it goes,

but i will not give myself permission to take NOW for granted.

Coz right now, i have YOU.

So once again, i want you to know. That you’ve changed me and will forever be a part of my life. Without the kindness you spared for me, and the care you so willingly extend, i would not be able to do what i am doing at this very moment. Smiling…

And therefore, I am responsible for letting you know, that with every heartbeat and thought from the very depths of my heart and soul…

I love you……..

I loved you yesterday………

I loved you today………

And I will love you tomorrow………..


Eyes puffy, nose blocked
I need to stop crying now
Why won’t the pain stop?

My Hearts

Went with Jo to get our tattoos today. Unfortunately she didn’t have time to stay too long so she couldn’t get hers done. Will be going back on Monday for hers. I didn’t really plan to get mine done either today, but being impulsive and all, I decided to get a different tattoo first.

So here’s what I got today. Hearts behind my ears.

One for mum.
And one for dad.

No I don’t think it’s a weird choice. It actually means a whole lot to me. It represents equal love. Coz having to put up with their divorce the past 3 years has been the closest thing to being in hell. Being afraid to tell one that I still love the other. Parents can be a real headache sometimes, but like I’ve always tried to tell them, I’m only ever gonna have one mum, and one dad. I can’t go out and hand pick someone else to take their spot. I will always love the both of them, equally and unconditionally. So that’s what the tattoos stand for. Still think I didn’t think it through?

Club Hopping

JOLENE’s back! And so we decided to go clubbing, coz she really missed that. And coz she’s been stuck in some deep jungle somewhere in Langkawi growing weeds! Since it was ladies night, instead of just going to SS, we decided to club hop.

Us in FAME

Us in MOMO

Us in MOIS

And finally, we got to SS.

Going to Mystique tomorrow to get Jolene’s tattoo done. And check out the design for mine. I’m still quite unsure about it. But it’ll be fun seeing Jo get her first tattoo done. Wouldn’t miss it for anything. Hopefully we don’t get lost trying to get to the shop. I’m very the blurr when it comes to maneuvering through the many lorongs in Penang.