Daily Archives: 120509

I love you, and that’s okay.

It’s been a week since it’s started to sink in.
Two since shit hit the fan.
And three since it really just ended.
3 long weeks. 3 really long weeks. But I know that even though a journey has ended here. Another one has just begun. And that leaves me with something to look forward to. I’m not moving on just yet. But I have found happiness and excitement in knowing that I can.
I am happy.
Even though things aren’t perfect. And there still is a lot to settle. I am alright with myself. The problem is no longer in me. It is exactly what it’s supposed to be. I got what I needed. The long awaited closure to a problem that has been there for well, longer than it should have been.
And now, the healing can take place.
It’s easier this time around. It’s easier coz I know what’s coming. It’s easier coz I know how to face it now. It’s easier coz I know, no matter how much love remains, he is no longer worth it. Not after the crap he has done and the things he has said. Not after what he has proven himself to be.
As much as I wish things did not turn out to be the way it is now, the reality is that it has already happened. There is nothing more I can do. I’m just holding my head up as high as I can now. And learning to let go.
I will always love you Jermaine.
More than you have ever loved me.
And that’s okay.