not over you

In light of recent events, I have come to realise that I am not over you yet.
It has not been easy dealing with things being this way. But I just know that there’s nothing I can do at all at this point. We’re friends. And i’m happy being friends. I’m glad you were there this weekend, to offer some support after what happened. Eventhough nothing was mentioned about it. Not once.
But this weekend has just made me realise that I do miss you. That no one can take your place. No matter how hard I try to let them in. Moving on is a whole different thing from letting go. Moving on is easy. Letting go, not so much.
I asked you. And you gave me the answer I expected to hear all along.
It’s not impossible, does not make things any easier for me. In fact, all it does is leave me wondering more. If there’s anything I should do or not do that would affect the outcome of the future. Mine. Yours. Ours. Which puts me back at square one.
I am happy. At times.
But then more often than not, I am reminded of how much happier I could be. And that is the problem.
I hope going to India solves everything. It is the break I need. The good kind.
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