Monthly Archives: November 2009

317

I’ve thought about it. And thought about it even more. But I realise that it’s about time I let you go.

I clearly told you, date him all you want if you want to although I don’t like it.
I made it a clear point, I don’t like it. And yet I still say “your choice, woman”, because you happy, I’m fine.
Just don’t bring him in my life now. Not now, not when I’m not ready.
And I did say “not ever”.

And it is as simple as that. Everything else aside, he means the world to me now. And having you say “not ever” means, that it’s never gonna be alright. No matter how hard I try. No matter how tolerant I choose to be with you. I could drop everything that you’ve done and just be fine with you, because we all know I deal with crap well. But here’s the thing. You’re just not worth it anymore.
That day when I went to see you, I hugged you. Instead of screaming or yelling. Or slapping you right in the face. I hugged you and told you it was okay. Whatever you felt. And then later on I realised, that’s how it’s always been hasn’t it. As long as you’re good, we’re good. When you told me you had to tell your mum about me going to UM to go see you and that I was being a distraction. You blamed me for something that you shouldn’t have. And it wasn’t the first time. I guess that’s when I decided to draw the line.
I need not explain further. You know me well enough to know how much bullshit I’ve dealt with. And you’re the one who’s always said that you’re the female version of him. I guess in some ways that’s true. You’re both the people I’ve come to love the most so far. And the people who have treated me the worst.
I’m walking away now. And you can blame it on me if you want to. Or bitch about the situation (and me) to the world like you always do. I just don’t want to care anymore right now. And someday I know I won’t.
Goodbye.

316

There’s nothing that I wanted to blog about really. I’m just putting this post up, coz I’m blogging from his laptop, in his house. This would be the first time I’m over and up in his room and this way, many years down the line I can look back at this and be able to remember this exact date.
I know you’ll be reading this. So, I love you baby ♥
Now I go watch you fly the plane all. Hehe.

315

Just got back from a really really long day out.
Went to get Jolene from around here then headed to Pyramid to meet Lisan and Stef. Had lunch at TGIF. Which wasn’t too good. But eh. Sometimes it’s not all about the food right.

And at night, we went for FIFA. Well actually the boyfriend went for FIFA and I followed to watch. Hehe.

This is, Work

Bar Mitzvah. And us.

313

dreams.wants.needs.

Three important elements in life.

And Ive found it in you.

The most amazing part, I found love, something more important than anything in the world.

And Ive found it in you.

You are my blessing. my strength. my part of me.

Three Simple True Words.