Last night felt like the longest night there’s been in months. This morning I woke up, smiled for a second, then remembered why last night was so long, and immediately, I felt this awful familiar pain in my chest. It’s that pain people talk about when they say that they can feel their heart literally breaking. It’s suffocating. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I still can’t. That is why this morning feels like forever too.
Yesterday you said so many things I never thought you’d say. Then you walked away.
And now I have both the rings on my finger.
I wish you were childish and immature. Then I could confidently say that yesterday was nothing and you’d change your mind the moment you saw me again. But I know that you’re better than that. I’m sure you wouldn’t have put me through that crap without thoroughly thinking it through.
Yet somehow, I still wish things would change today.
Is it silly of me to think of that?
Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, that’s knowledge. It’s in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it’s all darkness outside.
Nothing in my life’s been easy. And I get that it’s been different on your side. That’s why it’s so much harder for you to handle things now. I know it doesn’t feel like we’d get through all of this. But sometimes in a relationship, you’ve just got to have some faith.