I don’t know what to do anymore now.
The nights are especially hard to deal with.
I hate not having someone to hug to sleep. But it sucks more to know that when I wake up, there’s not gonna be anyone around for me to hug either. And by anyone I mean him. I can’t get off the laptop to lie down and try to sleep coz the moment I stop chatting or texting, my mind goes back to thinking the same thoughts. It sucks being alone. It sucks knowing that not only is he not mine anymore, but that he’s gone. Completely.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not waiting to hear from him. To get that explanation that I so badly need.
But I honestly don’t know if he’d even do that.
I want to say so many things to you. Scream. Cry. Let it out. But then again, I know I kinda don’t want to. Coz there’s no point. It’d only leave me more tired than I am now. And I really don’t need that.
It sucks that you’re doing this to me, after everything you said. I’d link your post here so you could reread what you said to me. But I know I don’t have to. You’re well aware of what the situation was. Is.
I feel mad. Upset. Emotional. Hurt. Pissed. Sad. And alone.
But I can’t let myself cry anymore. Not now. Not yet.
Why’s it so hard to just fucking fall asleep?!