Remember how you left me a message right before leaving your uncle’s place in UK?
“morning baby..i just woke up got ready and packed my bags. im nearly on my way home to you =)
so lovely u sent me fb msgs. it really really made me happy.sorry i had to go like that yesterday. im missing u so much. please please take care of yourself.
ill miss u so much. SO MUCH. kisses and hugs.”
And when I tried to ignore you after that and tell you that things wouldn’t work coz we just weren’t ready.
“Im trying to call you but i have no idea why ur phone’s like totally out of reach.
This is what i want you to know.
I landed yesterday and the FIRST thing i did was dial u number. and what i wanted to tell u was…that im home. FOR YOU. and i wanted to ask you if you are ready for this new chapter of your life. because ive fallen for you.
And then tried calling..again. i never got through.
I have so much to tell you about how close we are to having what we want. but i dont understand why you didnt want to talk much yesterday.
it has not ended for me. im hoping you still think of me and want me. because i want you.
ill always want you. i know its hard for you, but let me strengthen you. give me a chance to.
i need you summer. dont give up just because of yesterday. or whatever that has happened this past few days.
im dying to talk to you.
ive fallen for you. all i want is you to hear me out.
Brennan.”
What happened to those days? Those messages? Those feelings?
And why when I tried so hard to tell you this relationship is worth the trouble, did you not turn around and tell me you still wanted me then.
I miss you. So much.
I still not-so-secretly wished things were okay.
