Daily Archives: 020110

Through the year

I guess it’s about time for this already delayed post. I did last year’s one in the form of pictures. But too many things have happened this year for me to summarize it that way really. I’ve struggled on this post because I do not even know where to begin. I finally decided I’d go back a year and re-read my post on new year and then maybe I’d know what to write.

I remember how I felt writing that post. And the point in life that I was at then. Hard to believe how much has changed, and how much has remained the same. I started off last year with Jermaine, our love rekindled. But that lasted a good what? Three months. I planned to move to KL then shit happened with the babies and we broke up once again. That’s not where the story ended unfortunately. It wasn’t til September that I fully was able to let go of the past 2 and a half years. It was however, through those nine months that I discovered how much different it was to have a girlfriend around. Someone who just stuck by you and listened to all the crap that went on. Daphne changed a huge chunk of my year. I know as I look back, that I would have probably given up a million times if it weren’t for the midnight phone conversations and many many random KL trips. Heck I was probably travelling up and down twice a month at that point. We grew close and I had someone to share things with 24/7. No judgement, no arguments.
It was that friendship though, that led me to meeting Brennan. Who ended up messing with my head more than anyone else ever did. I dropped everything, moved here, tattooed his name on, took him back home and introduced him to the family. It really thought me a lesson on trusting people. I lost Daphne to that bastard. We’re finally in touch again now, but you know when you know things are the same, but isn’t really. Yeah, that’s it. It’s been a freaking miracle to have had Jesz over the past 2 months here to keep me occupied through the crappy times. We had our fare share of fights over the almost 6 years of friendship that we’ve had. But 2009 brought a change and we’re good now. For real. It took some long conversations of how crappy guys were and where we were heading in life to let go of the ex. But just as I thought I’d never allow myself to fall in love again and choose to stay single for a while, I met him. The greatest gift of the year. What started as a playful facebook flirt blossomed into well, what we have now. At least 2009 ended on a good note. In some ways.
I’m not writing about incidents that happened, just the people that have mattered the most through this year. So much more went on that I’d never be able to finish writing about it. But then again, that’s why this blog is here isn’t it. If I wanted to take a look back at all the little things here and there, I could always take sometime and go through the archives.

Reading old posts makes me feel so nostalgic. I just spent the past hour going through half of last years entries. And it was then that I realised, that there is no point to the whole resolution thing really. Every year I wish for the next year to be better then continue into convincing everyone (and more importantly myself) into believing that I’m gonna be smart enough to not make the same stupid mistakes again. And then I make them. So no resolutions this year. I’m just gonna chill and take it as it goes.
I have always been blunt and straight forward in my posts so I did not feel the need to pseudonym anyone in this one either. The only thing that makes me sad really, is that I can’t name him. Not yet anyways. The situation’s just such. But all in all, life’s good. It always has been.