I’ve never really written about this because it seems to be a sensitive thing to certain people. But after having a conversation with a friend today, I realize how much it bothers me.
There’s this ongoing debate on which is harder to deal with. The death of a parent, or divorce. And I guess I’m fine with people more or less having opinions of their own, but when someone tells me that I can’t possibly understand what they are feeling, or that there’s nothing like losing a parent, I feel like screaming back in their faces. Don’t get me wrong, really. I’m more than willing to sit around and listen to their story of how it happened, or what they feel, but who the heck gave anyone the right to tell me that I’m not supposed to have an opinion of my own because I can’t possibly understand what they feel? Or that when I don’t feel their pain, I’m the one at fault.
Did you ever stop to think, that maybe it’s your own stupid fault for not stopping to understand what I’ve been through as well? So perhaps death was a hard thing for you to deal with. Divorce was tough on me. When you so smartly say that at least both my parents are alive, can’t I then say at least you still have a parent to go back to? Coz I don’t. Your parents did not choose to walk out and leave you feeling abandoned. Mine did. Hypothetically speaking, I could possibly feel more alone than you sometimes, couldn’t I?
Argh! I wanna tell people like you to shut up sometimes. I’ve dealt with more shit than you have. If I don’t get to talk it out, then why the fuck should I have to sit and listen to you anymore? I do it coz I still care (even though I try hard not to). Obviously, you just don’t give a damn bout anything, anyone, but yourself.
I hate myself for not being able to continuously hate other people long enough for me to walk away from them before they turn their backs me.
I’m SO frustrated right now!!