Looking at your wall and going through your photo album makes me miss you so much. It just feels like so long since you’re been here with us. I think about you all the time. I wish it were me and Ron in those pictures with you. And here’s a lil secret. I felt jealous that Mandy got to go stay with you there. And I haven’t. Not an upset jealous, it just made me wish I was there as well. I really miss you so much.
It’s not the shopping trips, or going on holidays. Or doing anything major really. It’s the little things that I don’t do with anyone else that I miss. Staying up in the hall watching tv and chit chatting. Exchanging clothes every now and then just for the fun of it. Gossiping bout all kinds of things. It’s so hard to just randomly share stuff or keep you updated when you’re so far away.
Having you back once a year for a holiday doesn’t seem to make anything better. It just makes me stop and think bout all the things we used to do together as a family. Well, the family I was used to at least. Somehow, all those memories include you. I guess it was the many years you spent at home, being a kid and growing up with us. Never really thought there’d be moments where I’d miss you this much. It is true. You never know what you have until you lose it.
“Love you darling, I really miss you too. I really think of you everyday… Mumi”
I know I’m a big girl now and it’s a normal thing to not live with parents forever, but come back sometime soon yeah. I don’t like not having a mother here. I love you.
No one really knows just how alone I feel sometimes.