Growing up as a girl, I have come to discover that there is no such thing as a friendship without bumps. Many times before, I’ve shared stories with guy friends, who have said things like “Ya’ll are such bitches”, “Why you such a drama queen”, “I don’t know what to say coz it’s never happened to me before”, “Guys don’t fight over things like that” and the most popular response “Girls! (commonly followed by rolling of eyes and/or a really lousy attempt at mimicking said bitches”.
I used to wonder, was there something just flat out wrong with me? Or are guys just being guys by saying that, the same way they say all female drivers are bad.
Then I grew up and realised that there’s a whole lot of truth to what’s been said, however much we may want to deny it. While I wouldn’t agree that all female drivers are bad (maybe just the majority), I do believe now that girls in general are way more catty than guys.
I have had many misunderstandings with many friends over time. And 9 out of 10 times, they were girls. Including the most gathered, supposedly matured ones. Is it because we’re just born that way? Or do friends make the difference? Goes back to the ongoing “nature versus nurture” debate.
Anyways, I wanted to write this post because I was going through random old messages and comments, and I came across one that said “you’re so lame. get a life. stop hanging out with my friends”. And reading that made me think. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I get the you’re so lame part. Sometimes I am nothing but that. And telling me to get a life, even though technically I am alive and therefore I have a life, my life, I still understand the concept of that line. It must have come out of concern that my life was not entertaining enough, and I should find exciting things to do.
What puzzled me was “stop hanging out with my friends”. And after thinking about it for a bit, frankly it pissed me off. Lets put this in a situation everyone should understand.
I hang out with FriendA. FriendA brings GroupOfStrangers along. FriendA is a somewhat close friend, therefore hanging out is a common recurrence that leads to a large amount of time being spent with GroupOfStrangers as well, turning GroupOfStrangers into GroupOfFriends. FriendA and I have a fallout and stop hanging out anymore. Does GroupOfFriends (who I have ended up spending time with and getting to know) then go back to being GroupOfStrangers?
I DON’T THINK SO! And in that case, where do you get off thinking that you have the right to tell me to stop hanging out with “your“ friends? Even if it started as a group of strangers, after spending time together and getting along, haven’t they become my friends as well?
I wouldn’t have been so pissed of then or now for that matter, if what she said had stopped there. But FriendA went on to bitch about it to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Ruining my mood for a good two weeks.
So I shall say this now (in full agreeance), as my male counterparts have so eloquently put it,
We say the stupidest things sometimes don’t we?