There’s no shortage of ways to irritate friends over Facebook nowadays. Over-poking, updating your status every 5 minutes, updating your status with yawn-worthy things, tYpInG LiKe ThIs aLL tHe dAmNeD TiMe.
Heck I’m sure even I have annoyed my facebook friends on occasions as well, what, with my constant page suggestions and shit. But fanpage / event invites go out all the time, and it doesn’t really bug me. Yes, I’m pretty tolerant towards most things other people might find annoying.
Most, but not all. Because somewhere in that huge-ass sea of functions that facebook offers, there is this thing called Facebook Chat. And for some reason, people have forgotten how to behave with properly. Or maybe they just stopped caring.
With the exception of an hour here and there, I have had my facebook chat set to offline from the moment they introduced it. And here is why. I can’t go 10 minutes without someone wasting my time on something completely pointless.
You : how r u
Me : awesome! how bout u?
You : good
Me : sorry, but have we spoken before? or are we silent facebook friends? hehe.
You : no
If you’re choosing to talk to someone new over facebook chat, you should put some thought into it before dropping a line by. Don’t start a conversation if you have no intentions of following through with it. I wouldn’t mind getting to know you, but if you’re being so ridiculous, I’d rather not try.
You : what you doing
Me : just stoning. and watching youtube videos.
You : ok
Me : what are u up to there? :)
You : nothing
Dude. Like, talk. Talk about yourself, ask me about myself, bring up some random thought that’s crossed your mind. Point out that the sky is bright, or that the night is dark. Anything’s better than nothing. Coz nothing is boring.
You : hi
Me : hey :)
You : can i fuck you?
Do I even need to explain that one? Deleted and blocked thankyouverymuch.
I’m perfectly fine chatting with real friends, no matter how chaotic it gets sometimes. And once in a while I have a really good conversation with a stranger. I know some of you may find it weird, but I think it’s kinda fun. I spend too much time hanging around the same people and being antisocial. Sometimes I feel like making a change. But then I get on facebook chat, and I get nonsense like that. So I guess this goes out to anyone and everyone who has thought about chatting with me. Please, please sort your shit out first.
I’m trying to give this facebook chat thing a chance. I miss talking to some friends and I’d like to be able to reconnect with them at random. Will you boring/stupid/dirty fucks leave me alone? If you feel offended, or my bitchiness has turned you off, go ahead and take yourself off my facebook account. It’d save us both some time. Yes, I know I can be pretty pissy at times. But if you’re trying real hard and I don’t reply to something you say, it’s probably me, not you. I could be either away, really busy doing something else, or in an antisocial mood. You can take your pick and try again later if you want to.
You : hi
You : busy?
You : are you there?
You : sorry dc
You : hi
You : still busy?
Okay. Sometimes it is you. And maybe, just maybe, you could take a hint and understand that I’m not bloody interested in having a conversation with you because we’ve gone down that road before and I think you fit into one of those categories above. If it makes anyone feel better, you could ignore me too if I try to start talking to you someday. I’m perfectly fine with the occasional rejection.