Monthly Archives: May 2011

Letting go

Today you decided to walk away from someone who has been very important to you. You know what you did wrong. And you know what to do from here. You hope she knows that you love her. But you also hope that she knows that she did something horrible. You did not deal with the situation well, but neither did she. Old you would have probably brushed it off and not given a damn then waited for a while and then pretend to be fine with it until you actually felt okay with it. But you have gone through enough over the past few years to know that sometimes, no matter how much you love a person, it’s not gonna be enough.
You hate knowing that you’re going to be giving up on something you worked hard on for months. But not having that person in your life is more bearable than having to deal with constant drama. You’re trying to move on with life and leave all that behind. Less fighting. Less drama. Remember?
You want to love unconditionally, but really.
Not loving is better than trying so hard to love the wrong person.
And no, don’t ask who. Or what happened. Or why it happened.
This is just me talking to myself.

-*jumps

SO.
I believe we’re gonna do the whole Pineapple-Mango bloghack again after a year or so of not doing that. Yes, what used to be the norm became the foreign, and what do you know.. it became the norm, again.
Woman wrote in my blog about my being an integral part of her life and her growth and how much she doesn’t want to disappoint me above others :) This blogger of yours is now a different person as compared to when she was who she was in 2008.
When I first got to know her around late 2008 – the month that was November (and we decided to put the 5th as the date of our anniversary! see, who puts a date to remember their friendship? WE DO! :D); I NEVER thought that we’d have an almost-immediate connection. It was initially a DNA thing – we dubbed those names from Charlie’s Angels and I decided to avoid plagiarism by naming us DNA (childishness but hey you can’t NOT admit it’s cute! :p). And then the N in the DNA gave us quirky (and I mean, QUIRKY) last names to evade the plagiarism too; namely Bitchirina, Assyslia (which changed to Assylia to make it sound more classy AHEM :p), and then there’s…
…*drumroll*
Sohailia.
Those who know me will know that I’d give them my trademark look upon hearing that name. Woman would probably go all HAHAHAHAHAHA by now, because there’re just too many stories to tell about this – like the classic high from shisha hence the knocking on a flower pot, the inport chaibo story..
Eh. :p
ANYWAY.
So the connection was made and eventually the N in the DNA decided to step out – reasons of which we don’t need to reiterate; so the DNA became D&A. And it remained that way eversince till that woman decided to add another name to us; Pineapple&Mango. I have NO idea why but I think it’s her orientation with colours, ‘cos she hates eating fruits AND vege. She’s gonna come in defense with naming her favourite fruits (definitely some pineapples and mangos included) but .. yeah, she generally hates anything healthy.
D&A in 2008 was, though strong; unstable.
Woman was unstable – stubborn, a little judgemental (with her ways of stating RELIGIOUS/VIRGIN right there at my blog, oh yeah that’s her 2008 wording :p), and she loved the high-and-mighty lifestyle. Sleep, eat, party, do whatever when you want, how you want it.
She’s also pretty unreasonable. We can just argue at any moment (not seriously) and then she’d go “YAH! I’M RANDOM WHAT! NO MEH?”…
..which leaves me silent, really. ‘Cos there’s just NO answer to it.
then in ’09, D&A went through a major guy drama. Or should I say, guys? And there was a particular drama that happened which made us go our separate ways. For a year or so – the strong-willed me cried a Charissa-cry (a la cry me a river), thinking that it was really goodbye for us then, because it hurt, just so much.
I just didn’t know how to go about the whole fallout, because it was just something so foreign to the both of us – it’s so weird because we never thought about it. And when it happened, neither of us knew how to handle it. I decided to keep quiet, while she spills it all over here, and I was the bad person.
And God reunited us once again in late ’10; giving this friendship a 2nd chance.
Talking to her again now, in 2011; woman is now a grown-up.
I see how she sees things, how she perceives people, takes in information, handles her issues..
..yeah, she’s more grown up now. :)
and proud of her doesn’t even describe one bit of how I feel about her this moment.
:)
much love,
A :)

Football?

First football match I actually head out to watch in what…years? and Manchester United loses. I used to watch football at home with my family. Dad’s been an MU fan all his life and in 2002, my mum caught the fever as well. In fact, I think we still have DVD documentaries and a collection of MU magazines. Although I can’t remember what it’s called anymore.
Football’s just not the same anymore nowadays. I remember once going to sleep and waking up to screaming. I panicked and rushed downstairs only to find out that MU had scored a winning goal and my parents were celebrating.
No celebration for last night. Maybe that’s why it didn’t feel the same.
Oh well. Next time then.

tattoo #8

Yes, I got inked. This time at Black Cat Tattoo, Sunway Pyramid.

Never judge people for what they are at present.

this too shall pass

She had managed to not let it affect her too much by keeping herself distracted but as she sat in the car knowing she was on the way home again, she began to panic. So much had changed since her last visit. She had spent the past month readjusting to new people being in her life and getting used to the idea of saying goodbye to others. It hadn’t been easy. She was fond of having a routine. But after a while of struggling, she was beginning to get accustomed to the way things were. She wondered what her days would be like the coming few weeks without the same people being around. She worried that she hadn’t been around long enough to make her mark, and that she would be forgotten and erased. Friends drift apart, and that’s something she was unfortunately aware of. But the moment she entered her room, she knew she was home and all her anxiety disappeared. She was calm. Happy. She knew that no matter what else happened in her life, she had a place to call home, and people who loved her. The rest of the world could come and go. And it probably would. But home was always going to be there.