Monthly Archives: June 2011

Looking Back

Fergalicious would have played every time I received a message on my red Sony Ericsson W550i phone which I loved so much. Akon was at the top of his game. Songs like Smack That and I Wanna Fuck You were playing in clubs everywhere. Justin Timberlake’s lyrics from What Goes Around was stuck in my head and we would soon discover that it would stay that way for sometime.
I had just watched Mandy Moore in Because I Said So. A movie you wouldn’t hear of for a long time because for some reason the shop I bought my DVD’s from was way more updated than yours. Kal Penn was as sexy as ever in Epic Movie. And Dream Girls was creating a buzz that I would never understand. Turned out to be a big disappointment and a waste of time to watch for me.
Tori Spelling, Mel B, Jaime Presley and Marcia Cross were in their third trimester of pregnancies. I wondered how long it’d be before the baby boom began to hit celebrities we grew up with. You know, those barely talented tween girls that Disney once made famous – Hillary Duff, Alyson Michalka, Raven Symone, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens etc.
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were only a couple of months away from beginning their journey through getting arrested, being sent to rehab and going to jail. Anna Nicole Smith had just died of an overdose. News of it was all over the internet and Astro channels, although it took me a while to even figure out who she was. Not that I cared anyways after that.

It would have been a momentous month for many different people all around the world. It was even the month that Barack Obama made his life changing presidential announcement. But for some reason, all I can think about is the fact that it was the month that marked the beginning of a journey. One that would affect the rest of my life in ways I wouldn’t even have been able to imagine then.
Many years have passed but yet these feelings don’t seem to disappear. Sometimes I wonder what life would be now if I could go back and re-do just those couple of days. Maybe it would have allowed me to be a different person right now. Someone I actually really enjoyed looking at in the mirror.

moving Forward

Like everyone should know by now, I spent the last 2 weeks back home with a lot of spare time on my hands. That’s allowed me to some thinking about stuff. Life and all that nonsense. It should also explain my recent flood of emotional crap. I’m not generally the kind of person to talk about real feelings in detail. I’ve got a collection of half vague posts on my blog to prove that. I decided to do something different my last trip home, and I hope that’s helped everyone “get to know me” a little better.
I know I have hurt some feelings and spoke of some things that other people might have preferred to keep on the down low. I do not want to apologize because what I shared was the truth, and I’m allowed to be honest once in a while, no? But I would also like to state here that there are always two sides to a story and what you read here would have been my feelings about my experience and how it affected me.
I will be busy travelling over the next 2 and a half months, if everything goes as planned. And knowing me, you will probably not be getting real updates for a while. I will try my best to keep everyone up to date with where I am/what I’m doing.

If anyone wants to contact me, the best way to do it would be to send me a message on facebook. Really. I check it more often than I do my cellphone/email.


Random post. Came across this and I thought it was too cute.
Ever wonder why God gives us two?
A right hand to show the left what to do.
One ear to listen and one to hear
the problems of others,
their laughter and fears.
One eye to watch and one to behold
the beautiful treasure
that life has to hold.
One foot to travel and one to stand tall.
Two feet to land on if we should fall.
One man to stand by a woman’s side;
One woman to cherish being his bride.
The love between partners comes shining through
and that is the reason Goad has made two.

hello Charissa

I know you’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and here’s what you’ve realized.
You’re a small town girl.
You don’t really enjoy going out to the clubs anymore. You don’t love getting drunk (never have really), you don’t feel the need to party like crazy all the time. Don’t get me wrong. I know you wouldn’t say no to friends who ask you out, but it’s not because you really want to see some artist perform, or go for some event. It’s because you want to spend that time with them (goes back to your “feeling like a part of the group” issue). You’re never the most wasted one at the end of the night. In fact you think you actually like the feeling of being sober enough to take care of other people.
You don’t need to buy the trendiest shoes or clothes or go shopping all the time, the only times you go to malls nowadays is when you need to get something important (toiletries/groceries/fixing your laptop). You wouldn’t kill to have the latest gadgets or the coolest things. You don’t even have dreams of having more money than you could spend or living in a huge ass house like most people would.
You watch cooking programs on tv instead of 90210. You can’t be bothered to download gossip girl episodes anymore. Don’t even know what season they’re in now. Coz, what’s the freaking point, right?
You’ve been torn between KL and Penang for the past 4 and a half years. Back and forth, back and forth. Trying to live in both places without making a solid choice. The problem’s never been about “missing out on fun KL events” or “Penang being too boring”. The problem is that in all those years of not sitting down and thinking about what you were doing, you ended up making a significant amount of friends in KL, and losing touch with some you had in Penang. I’m aware that that’s the reason you never stayed in either place for too long. Live in KL, miss your friends and family in Penang. Live in Penang, miss your friends in KL. Your life is balanced in the worst way possible. How do you choose where to settle down when you feel like you have no home and 2 homes at the same time?
I believe that what you want, or have always wanted, is to have love. And a family. You someday want to stay at home and watch your children grow up. You grew up watching your mum and grandmother do that. They were and still are homebodies. You went through stubborn teenage years and reacted to your parent’s separation by running, when you shouldn’t have.
You’re so happy being home now and having your own time to do your own things. Housework, cooking, going for a swim in the afternoons, randomly hanging out with people. You never really enjoyed the hectic KL lifestyle. You hate traffic jams. You hate how the cost of living is ridiculously higher in comparison to Penang. You hate how everyone’s always busy and how eventually they all give in and take part in that rat race to career or social “perfection”.
At some point, you were aware of the fact that you enjoy simplicity. But ever so predictably, you allowed yourself to get distracted and stopped thinking about what really mattered in your life. You’ve been trying to look for your happily ever after in a place where people have completely different mentalities, lifestyles and habits.
Ideally, you would like to settle down in a not-so-hectic place, wouldn’t you? Get involved with a social welfare organization. Orphanages, old folks homes. Volunteer whenever you can. Do charity work. Travel a little once in a while. Have a real home to go back to and not have to worry about being split down the middle.
You’re now aware that the one thing holding you back is the way you miss people too damn much, too damn fast. Your head knows it likes the relaxed Penang lifestyle more. But your heart’s stuck in KL/PJ with the people you have grown to love. Unfortunately in this case, your heart’s the one that does the aching. In order to stay in Penang, you would have to forcefully let go of everyone and everything in KL/PJ then rebuild your life and friendships solely in Penang. I know you doubt the former is something you can do. I honestly doubt it too.
So looks like it’s back to square one again eh? I wish you the best of luck.

xoxo, Charissa.

What I would like to say to Sity Maznah

I knew I would write a response to this the moment I read it. But I told myself to calm down and maybe wait a day or two, to avoid excessive cursing (or any cursing at all really). So how do I say this without breaking that rule?
I think the article was complete poo! Poo’s not a curse word, is it?
I’m gonna go ahead and address the issues separately, because really, there’s so much rubbish it in it makes my head spin.

“Domestic abuse happens because wives don’t obey their husband’s orders. A man must be responsible for his wife’s wellbeing but she must listen to her husband,” said Siti Maznah in an interview on Friday.

When asked whether it was the wife’s fault for being abused, she said: “Yes, most probably because she didn’t listen to her husband.”

First of all. I am totally, completely, a hundred thousand percent against abuse of any sort. Especially that of the physical nature. I do not see how any human being could support the idea of abuse as a punishment. We don’t live in the 15th century, and even then I don’t think it would have been the right thing to do. People were just less educated and didn’t know any better. We should be smarter by now. Maybe schools should spend less time shoving useless information into kids’ heads and dedicate an hour or two a day to just teaching them about life. Teaching boys and girls that abuse isn’t right. You don’t get to raise your hand at a person for anything. Ever.

She said women had the duty of making themselves attractive and dressing up beautifully at home.

“Wives should welcome them with sexy clothes and alluring smiles when in the privacy of their homes,” she said, adding that she herself did the same as everyone in the club practised what they preached.

I actually agree with the part about women having the duty of making themselves attractive and dressing up beautifully. And yes, women should welcome men with sexy clothes (or whatever tickles his fancy). But I think the same should apply to men as well. Us women don’t want to be be greeted by abusive husbands. Or ones who can’t take care of their own grooming. Or even those who are moody and pissy.
Siti Maznah, 48, also stressed that husbands would not stray and turn to prostitutes if wives supplied them with a satisfying sex life.
And HAHAHAHA. This is the biggest joke of all. Siti Maznah, a member of club to be launched by an organization which is founded by an Islamic group does not think that prostitution is against her/their religion? Isn’t any sort of pre-marital sex against their religion? And in Malaysia, isn’t it also illegal for Muslims to even have sex outside of marriage? You could get arrested for it. I don’t even need to attach proof for that because anyone who lives in Malaysia already knows it’s true.
Ridiculous. This coming from a woman whose religion’s stand on sex education is mainly focused on abstinence. What a joke. Why did no one address her on that issue? I would have loved to have heard her explanation to that.
I don’t know for sure, because all I ever did was go for Moral education (non-Muslim student) classes in school. But do muslim girls get thought that they should accept adultery and abuse as suitable punishments for disobedience towards their future husbands?
For god’s sake. Open your eyes already! What on earth is going on in our country?!
So according to this Siti Maznah lady. There’s only one way a marriage will work. Really. Think about it.
Man & woman get married. Man is a slob, doesn’t give woman any reason to be happy. Woman gets angry. Man abuses woman to teach her a lesson. Woman learns her lesson. Woman bows down to man for the rest of his life.
Man & woman get married. Man is a slob, doesn’t give woman any reason to be happy. Woman gets angry. Man sleeps around because he’s not happy. Woman learns her lesson. Woman bows down to man for the rest of his life.
Man & woman get married. Man decides to be a cheating imbecile for no reason. Woman gets angry. Man abuses woman to shut her up. Woman learns her lesson. Woman bows down to man for the rest of his life.
Man & woman get married. Man decides to beat her up because he has issues. Woman gets emotional. Man is not happy with his home life anymore and sleeps around a little. Woman learns her lesson. Woman bows down to man for the rest of his life.
Man & woman get married. Woman does everything to make man happy. Man is just a retard on his own and has abuse/cheating issues. Woman keeps doing everything to try and make man happy. Man doesn’t change. Woman bows down to man for the rest of his life.
I’m sorry, but if that’s the direction in which our country’s heading, I would like to pack my bags and move away NOW. I think someone needs to teach them that there are other ways of making a marriage work. For example :-
Man & woman get married. They treat each other as equals and respect each other. Man loves woman. Woman loves man. No one cheats. No one beats each other up. Man & woman have babies who grow up to be just like them and they have babies that grow up to be just like them and they have babies who grow up to be just like them and they have babies who grow up to be just like them and you get the picture.
p/s : I said (in anger) on facebook last night “If I weren’t so against abuse, i’d wish for her husband to beat the shit outta her someday for no reason at all, just to teach her a lesson for saying such ridiculous things”. But now that I’ve had time to think about it. I found the perfect solution.
Did you know that the Sharia law in one state is not applicable in another? A divorced man can avoid paying child support by moving. So these men who have “four to 26” (per polygamous household) children could just pick up and go someday. I hope that happens to her instead.
p/p/s :
Say NO to domestic abuse!!