Monthly Archives: November 2011

Guggenheim

I dreamt of my grandmother, knocking on the door. She was lightheaded again, and I helped her to the bed.

I dreamt I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab something quick for her to eat. My dad was there, making a drink.
I dreamt I turned around and saw my mum (a little confusing), she asked me if I didn’t expect to see her there. 
I dreamt my brother drove up to the backdoor so we could get to the clinic. 
I dreamt I had something to eat, then panicked about it because I was breaking my diet. 
I dreamt I met his family (even though I don’t have a clue what they look like). His mum was nice to me.
I dreamt everything was alright again, and we all went back to the hall.
Hopes. Fears. Expectations. 
The many things that must be on the back of my mind. Things I try my best not to pay attention to.
I dreamt I saw my mum and dad hugging. It felt awkward that they weren’t awkward with each other. Heck, it felt awkward that they were within reaching distance of each other.
I still fail to see the purpose of dreaming. It’s all this false happiness/fear. Then I wake up, and nothing, not one thing, is any different. My feelings get jumbled up and tossed around for no purpose at all. 
Why can’t I dream of candyland or some shit like that? 

After all, it’s way more realistic than me waking up at home to a family again -_______-“

Sunway Lagoon

Yet another perfect day. Been having too many of those lately.
NOT complaining though 

Dance 4 Life

 In preparation for…

 Hell yeah!
Finally! Less than a month away now!

Make a wish

Spent 11:11, 11.11.11 with the boys and sgrmse.
The past few months have been pretty darn amazing. I finally feel like i’m in the right place at the right time. If it was in my control, I wouldn’t want anything to change for a really long time. But life’s been a roller coaster ride for as long as I can remember. Wishing that nothing bad would ever happen again seemed ridiculous at that moment. Not to mention unrealistic. 
So I wished for strength instead. Strength to deal with whatever life throws at me in the future. Strength to pick myself back up. Strength to keep trying. 
Feelings change. Memories don’t. Friday night was perfection 

Stubborn

Hello readers! That’s if I have any left.
Been completely slacking in the writing department and I have no one to blame but myself. I’m in KL now, and not spending as much time alone as I’m used to. I write when I’m bored, and being around people so much doesn’t leave me much time to feel that. Probably a positive thing, but for some reason, I’ve lost all inspiration to write. I guess I’m the kinda person who needs complete privacy before I can zone out and really let my mind wander off. And I think that’s long overdue.

Feels like I’ve made a 180° flip since getting back from Perth. All I did there was spend time with the family and go to the gym. Now that I’m back, I find myself less dedicated to working out, I haven’t seen a family member in over a month and I’ve gone back to partying *almost* like a rock star. I’m just not sure which is the more fulfilling path. 

Living life in the moment again feels pretty good but sometimes I question if it’s the smartest thing to do. It’s a case of “been there, done that” and I can’t say it got me anywhere worth shouting about. There’s this thing I do though, where I make a mistake, then don’t learn from the lesson, and find myself in the same situation I was in before. You’d think I’d know how to make the right choices by now.

But, NO! I’m a stubborn little child who refuses to think of consequences before making decisions. 

Anyhoo, I highly doubt I’ll be writing anytime soon. So for the time being, this site shall function mostly as a picture blog.