sometimes it catches me off guard when people are so surprised at how much i’ve changed.
i wonder why? i have always been an endless bag of surprises.
my inconsistency is consistent and i’m constantly trying to grow heaps beyond my comfort zone.
i love change. it’s something that happens whether or not i want it to, so why not embrace it and take life as it goes? i know that at any point, who i am is not who i’m going to be a year down the road. heck, it might not even be who i am when i wake up tomorrow.
nowadays, i guess i would say i’m a hippie. having said that, i can’t say for sure i know what a true hippie is, or what the term means to anyone else. or that a hippie is even any one thing in particular to begin with. to me, being a “hippie” is about love. loving myself, loving nature, loving people – good and bad, loving life.
some people call me a hippie sometimes, and they don’t mean it in a complimentary kinda way. they use the word when i say something “out there” and being a hippie then means it is expected for me to be talking rubbish. they say i’m a hippie like being a hippie is not normal, or silly, or i have no understanding of what real life is all about. like, it makes sense to be more like them, instead of myself.
once in a while it makes me sad. it is not that i need people to understand me. i have plenty of wonderful souls in my life to whom no explanation is necessary. what makes me sad is that so many people just don’t see themselves, or the bigger picture. but in that moment, it makes no difference what i say because what they take away from our conversation is dependent on their perception, and not mine. so i don’t say anything more. i just smile in acknowledgement of their judgement on who or what they think i am.
there are so many things i want to change in the world around me. most of which are completely out of my control. i know that. so the only thing i can continue to work on changing is – myself.
i can only hope for everyone to realise, the way i did; that the strength for anyone to face the true reality of life is buried within themselves and not sitting at the end of some chase. there’s no reason for humanity to continue on its downward spiral of unsustainable living.
or so thinks some incoherent rambling hippie girl :)