sometimes you think you know a person, and then you realise you really, truly, as a matter of factly do not. that no matter how much you hope and try to see the good or beautiful in a person, some people really just do not rise to the occasion and disappoint the crap out of you.
and there is nothing you can do to control someone else’s course of action or decisions in their life. all you have is your blind faith, even when someone gives you no reason to believe – that the tipping point is just around the corner – and that little last effort of hanging on will get you over. that if you quit now, you might be quitting just a moment too soon. and if it’s a moment away, how bad can it hurt to just wait?
so you wait. then you wait some more. and as you feel like you’re about to give up, you push through it and keep waiting…and continue waiting until it drains you of the very love and faith that once kept you going.
and then you’re empty.
empty because you waited on someone who didn’t see you waiting. you waited patiently as they took their time doing whatever they felt like doing, when they felt like doing it for anything, anyone else but you. you waited stupidly as they didn’t give a single fuck about you.
then you are at a crossroad again. the only thing you have control over is your own choice. should you protect yourself and walk away because giving someone the power to take away your time and peace of mind is not worth it? or do you stay because sacrifice for something other than yourself is the most selfless thing one can do?
this isn’t a game. life, isn’t a game. you can’t pause it, you can’t ask for help. it’s a decision you have to make that determines the next part of your journey. you have to choose – and you have to choose now.
……so what will it be?