my body – a woman’s body – is not a sexual object.
i have recently decided to go bra-less. and boy has it been the greatest liberation my body has felt since i quit binge eating mcdonalds and lost that unnecessary weight 3 years ago. it’s strange how i got to this point in life never questioning why i had to wear a bra or whether a bra was really good for me. i just assumed, because everyone else does it, that wearing a bra was just something women did once they hit puberty.
i don’t have naturally perky breasts. they look ordinary, and will sag with time. so i always thought i had to wear a bra, to keep them from sagging. to keep them looking pretty. i treated my own body as a sexual object. why wouldn’t i, when everything i’ve seen, heard and been around has not taught me otherwise? i think a lot of women don’t want to be treated as sexual objects but at the same time treat themselves as exactly that.
since going braless, i realise my breasts and nipples are somewhat offensive and make people uncomfortable. even though i do not ever leave the house in something remotely see through, and always make sure it’s decent, it is very hard to walk out freely in an asian country where people are more reserved. there is a certain unspoken code of decency or conduct, and while i don’t want to be disrespectful of people’s space, i just really want to breathe freely.
it’s amazing how much better my breathing has been since i’ve gone bra-less. even my best fitting bra feels like a constraint now that i’m free 95% of the time. i still put one on if i know i’m going to be in a crowd of people (at this moment, the pasar ramadhans) so i do not offend unnecessarily. i just wish more women understood this and freed themselves too so i wouldn’t stand out, walking around without a bra.
i realise how my back and shoulders ache a little when i use bras for just a little while now. and since freeing myself, my breasts have gained more muscle which hold them up better than when i used to wear a bra all the time. and so what if they sag over time? that’s just nature. there’s nothing wrong with an aging body. it’s hit me so hard how much we try to prevent ourselves from aging, when our age and how we age is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place. why do we covet youth so much that we hate and fear the thought of aging?
i just don’t care anymore. i like this freedom. i like my mind not worrying about what’s naturally happening to my body. it’ll take some getting used to, but it will happen – people will stop feeling uncomfortable about me not caging up my breasts.
my breasts along with everyone elses, are no different from the breasts of animals that hang freely, naturally. they are a means to feed babies, not some sexual object that needs to be covered, hidden, worried about. so everyone just needs to