somehow it feels like i have been doing a lot of sorting and thinking lately but at the same time i haven’t been thinking at all. strange. i’m glad i have a husband to talk to, who allows me the space to share everything because i suppose that’s how and when things get sorted.

my head thinks the most late at night. which is what keeps me up all the time, which is thoroughly inconvenient i might add. but thoughts are a strange thing. i’m never trying to focus on a train of thought, and i’m hardly even aware that i’m processing information but i do feel growth through every passing conversation.

my insides feel more spiritual when i think of what i have to do in order to move on. but it also feels like i’m choking, trying to take a deep breath when there’s no air around me anymore. very transitional period of time where everything feels perfectly fine yet completely not and that nagging feeling of being pulled both ways refuses to go away. so i feel numb.

i’m giving myself 2 months to heal and sort everything out. i’m determined to let everything go and leave it in this present that’s soon to be the past. move on with a clear heart. make sure i don’t pick up a habit (shopping/binge eating/smoking) as a coping mechanism or distraction. close a chapter.

start a new one.

paint my page

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