retrograde

the past month or two has been quite an emotional roller coaster ride. not that all of life isn’t. or that there’s really any “down” time where there isn’t something to process or grow from. but the planets have been in retrograde and causing some chaos. stirring things up so i am able to fine tune myself and life even more. i feel like my expression had switched over to an emotional channel and i desire not to put in much effort into thinking about what i write. instead, i just sit here and flow with my emotions. eyes closed half the time. it’s kinda beautiful to journal for myself, to allow my thoughts to just be. instead of presenting things for people to see. i feel as though it sets a part of me free. the part that is concerned with how everything comes across. wanting to please. or to impress. it’s beautiful to accept myself more and more as i am. so what if i am quirky. or weird. or a little awkward. everybody is uniquely themselves. both likable and unlikable. why do i waste time trying to be anything for anyone else and forget how to just be me. i want to be myself. and learn what that means. i think it’s good time i did just that.

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