my little taurean

maya [sanskrit] dream or illusion.
taurus 🌞 sagittarius 🌙 leo rising.

this birth was a dream come true. our plan for an unassisted birth was to prepare as much in terms of knowledge and situation management and leave the rest to instinct. with our previous birth, i was honestly afraid of the contractions. not wanting to feel the pain allowed it to overwhelm me causing me to freeze and not allow my body, mind and soul to work as one to bring ella earthside like a warrior.

with this birth, i wanted to do different. we addressed all our fears and from the moment i felt the first real contraction, i did my very best to welcome it. feeling the energy surge through my body, down my spine, through my hips, up my belly, embracing maya in the womb and moving her down with a release. i moved to music on an exercise ball for as long as my body allowed me to before moving into a birthing pool. i can attest to the effectiveness of warm water as a natural epidural. i knew the moment i got in that maya would be born in the pool. and she was. arriving at 1.40pm on the 23rd of april @ 3.8kg. peaceful and healthy.

i do not know how women are expected to navigate labour without support (many government hospitals do not allow for a birthing partner) as i would not have made it through the many hours of intense contractions without yoong to be my strength and motivator in moments of fatigue and weakness. labour is no walk in the park. and the moment of transition where baby is ready to make an appearance is honestly the most warrior i’ve ever had to be in my life.

but beyond the space of pain and fear is a place of absolute bliss. bliss of accomplishing the seemingly impossible. bliss of holding my baby in my arms, having birthed her naturally, catching her on my own. most would think we are insane, for daring to attempt an unassisted labour. to that i say, i am so glad we are. because we did it, and i have no regrets. only joy and love.

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