Category Archives: A NATURAL LIFE

a million miles

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i have always struggled with my appearance over the years. from weight issues to horrid acne. i suppose the world we live in doesn’t teach a girl to love herself very much, does it? even when big brands come up with ads that feature a diversity of women telling you that any size/skin colour is beautiful, it’s still just marketing. ads to sell a product. their product. disguised better, to reach out to the women who don’t fall into the category of “perfect”, but all it does is further drill into a girl’s head that they need to be anything else but their natural, raw self to be happy.

i think it’s really toxic, thinking or worrying so much about how one looks. i battled acne for over a decade. i saw a couple of doctors earlier on who gave me all kinds of soaps to try. then i tried all kinds of other products and creams. but no matter how expensive or branded the option was, my skin didn’t get any better. i thought it’d never go away, so a year and a half ago i finally gave up and stopped using products altogether.

4i quit make up and got rid of all the creams, washes, toners and moisturizers. it was about the same time i let my hair dread so that meant no shampoo and conditioner as well. all i do now is rinse my face with water, even when it’s oily. i haven’t used soap or facial wash in over a year. and for the first time in my life, my skin stopped causing me grief.

how ridiculous to find out after a whole decade that make up and “miracle pimple creams” were really doing the damage to begin with. it’s not like i didn’t know make up was bad. but washing never helped either. all i needed to do was just leave it alone, treat my skin as though it didn’t exist. why didn’t anyone tell me that?

i had to dig through folders of photos to find a non-edited photo of myself. didn’t realise how many photos i’d have to go through. i really never did want to keep non-edited photos around because i refused to share them. i was truly ashamed for so long.

i finally found a photo though, from 2009 if my memory’s right. and here it is next to a photo from today with no make up or editing whatsoever. just me and my natural bushy eyebrows (which i have stopped plucking) in all it’s glory.

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as you can imagine, it has been a really long and painful journey! i am really glad i took the plunge into living on the extreme end of natural and healed myself in the process. i love that i’ve grown into feeling the way i do about my outside now. not worried. beautiful. free.

the only thing i have a real difficulty going natural about is my armpit hair. maybe i can allow myself this one exception and not ever take that step as i don’t see how i’d ever enjoy the result of that. it has been getting progressively longer between shaves though, so i guess i’ll never know.

no one should ever feel any less than perfect. maybe instead of trying to achieve “prettier”, we all take a step back and stop trying – and just be beautiful the way we already are :)

a slice of cake

it’s my birthday today!
happy birthday me!

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i’m more in love with life now than ever before.
what a truly beautiful feeling this is.

and so it goes

rr

 

 

went for my brother in law’s wedding over the weekend. and even though i love my crazy dreads, sometimes i think it needs a little tidying up before i go for a social/public event. my dreads have stopped shrinking now and it can finally start to grow out but as of right now it’s considerably short. wasn’t easy to get it neat, but i managed to pull something off.

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our lovely garden is growing now. and quite fast i might add. well, to me at least. sometimes i’m still caught off guard when i look over at the plants and see how big they’ve gotten. we’ve got 16 inch ladies fingers (okra) growing now. and i don’t know if there’s a larger breed of the plant, but they look freakishly long to me. haha.

muesli 10.9.2014

 

we’re having fruit yogurt honey chia muesli for breakfast every day. i think it’s brilliant because i’ve been getting more fruits than ever before and having it this way makes it so much more enjoyable. i’m really happy that we’re having all our meals at home now. i wasn’t sure if i was up for the whole cooking thing because cooking was never really that much of an interest. but somehow getting to prepare our own food and the bonus of not having to go out for every meal has made cooking very manageable. in fact, i’m really starting to look forward to it. that’s progress!

kasa baliyosa

it’s been 2 weeks of non-stop hard work, moving into our new home. but it’s no surprise that i quite like hard work and any kind of DIY project. it’s going to be a work-in-progress for a couple of months, but after 8 years of being in the spin segment of a wash cycle that is my life, i am so happy to have a real place to call a real home now :’)

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community

i have been trying to find a good old folks / nursing home for my grandparents who i know aren’t too far from needing a place to go where they can be looked after and kept entertained in their golden years. i am appalled at my findings so far as i can say with certainty, 9 out of 10 places are below par and the ones that aren’t will most definitely cost a bomb.

it makes me sad to think of the condition of living in this country, and how old folks for the most part, are on the loosing end of things. reality seems to be – if you don’t have enough money to hire a live in maid or check yourself into a pricey place, you have no choice but to live out the rest of your life in conditions that will suffocate you and take the joy out of what should be a very peaceful journey towards your final departure.

i want even more now to invest on a land, a few acres if possible, build my family a home and provide space for my children to run around freely and my parents to retire and grow old. i believe tribes have it right, living life together, sharing all responsibilities and burdens. more people to help raise the young and care for the old, together.

but that’s not society anymore, is it?

everyone trying so hard to make a living for themselves, not thinking about the rest of the world. i get it though. if you don’t belong to the minority of people who have found a way to make a living out of something they really love, life is hard. life is fucking hard. if you don’t work, you don’t make money and you are doomed to poverty – something i wouldn’t curse on my worst of enemies (not that i have any). if you work, you spend all your time at your job making as much money as you can – and hate your life a little when you find you barely have time for yourself (let alone anyone else), then waste said money on unnecessary expenses which are justified by of all the hard work you do only to find yourself truly still not satisfied.

everyone’s so caught up struggling for a “better” life. what counts as better anyways?

i want to dream big. i want to aim high. i have been shown that there really is so much more we can achieve beyond the illusion of money. someday i will provide a better life for those around me. there will be land for people to roam happily. plants to tend to. pets to take care of. activities to get involved with.

when my partner first shared his ultimate desire to live communally, it freaked me out, and made me think he was a little crazy. the thought of having to share my space with other people was intrusive. intrusive on this bubble that i call my space. intrusive on my past dreams and goals (which clearly didn’t come from a space of awareness). intrusive on the walls society helped lay foundation and bricks to. but i am no longer scared.

next month, i move into a new house *YAY* a place i will call home for the next phase of my life – before we get our land. and this will be a shared space. not in a housemate-everyone has their own room kinda way. but as two families living under one roof, as one. practice for the future – where i promise (myself) to live unselfishly so others may benefit from the hard work we put in together and the young, middle aged and/or old will no longer have to worry as much about caring for themselves. that is the pot of gold waiting for me at the end of this rainbow.