Category Archives: hippie girl

dread head

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i’ve tried putting string into my dreads but never really seemed to like the mess of colours. i changed my mind though, after using coloured bands to groom the tips. so now my hair’s going to have colour. maybe for years. maybe even decades.

it really has been a journey. sometimes i forget that for a good amount of time, my hair looked like this –

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a million miles

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i have always struggled with my appearance over the years. from weight issues to horrid acne. i suppose the world we live in doesn’t teach a girl to love herself very much, does it? even when big brands come up with ads that feature a diversity of women telling you that any size/skin colour is beautiful, it’s still just marketing. ads to sell a product. their product. disguised better, to reach out to the women who don’t fall into the category of “perfect”, but all it does is further drill into a girl’s head that they need to be anything else but their natural, raw self to be happy.

i think it’s really toxic, thinking or worrying so much about how one looks. i battled acne for over a decade. i saw a couple of doctors earlier on who gave me all kinds of soaps to try. then i tried all kinds of other products and creams. but no matter how expensive or branded the option was, my skin didn’t get any better. i thought it’d never go away, so a year and a half ago i finally gave up and stopped using products altogether.

4i quit make up and got rid of all the creams, washes, toners and moisturizers. it was about the same time i let my hair dread so that meant no shampoo and conditioner as well. all i do now is rinse my face with water, even when it’s oily. i haven’t used soap or facial wash in over a year. and for the first time in my life, my skin stopped causing me grief.

how ridiculous to find out after a whole decade that make up and “miracle pimple creams” were really doing the damage to begin with. it’s not like i didn’t know make up was bad. but washing never helped either. all i needed to do was just leave it alone, treat my skin as though it didn’t exist. why didn’t anyone tell me that?

i had to dig through folders of photos to find a non-edited photo of myself. didn’t realise how many photos i’d have to go through. i really never did want to keep non-edited photos around because i refused to share them. i was truly ashamed for so long.

i finally found a photo though, from 2009 if my memory’s right. and here it is next to a photo from today with no make up or editing whatsoever. just me and my natural bushy eyebrows (which i have stopped plucking) in all it’s glory.

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as you can imagine, it has been a really long and painful journey! i am really glad i took the plunge into living on the extreme end of natural and healed myself in the process. i love that i’ve grown into feeling the way i do about my outside now. not worried. beautiful. free.

the only thing i have a real difficulty going natural about is my armpit hair. maybe i can allow myself this one exception and not ever take that step as i don’t see how i’d ever enjoy the result of that. it has been getting progressively longer between shaves though, so i guess i’ll never know.

no one should ever feel any less than perfect. maybe instead of trying to achieve “prettier”, we all take a step back and stop trying – and just be beautiful the way we already are :)

no bra life

my body – a woman’s body – is not a sexual object.

i have recently decided to go bra-less. and boy has it been the greatest liberation my body has felt since i quit binge eating mcdonalds and lost that unnecessary weight 3 years ago. it’s strange how i got to this point in life never questioning why i had to wear a bra or whether a bra was really good for me. i just assumed, because everyone else does it, that wearing a bra was just something women did once they hit puberty.

i don’t have naturally perky breasts. they look ordinary, and will sag with time. so i always thought i had to wear a bra, to keep them from sagging. to keep them looking pretty. i treated my own body as a sexual object. why wouldn’t i, when everything i’ve seen, heard and been around has not taught me otherwise? i think a lot of women don’t want to be treated as sexual objects but at the same time treat themselves as exactly that.

since going braless, i realise my breasts and nipples are somewhat offensive and make people uncomfortable. even though i do not ever leave the house in something remotely see through, and always make sure it’s decent, it is very hard to walk out freely in an asian country where people are more reserved. there is a certain unspoken code of decency or conduct, and while i don’t want to be disrespectful of people’s space, i just really want to breathe freely.

it’s amazing how much better my breathing has been since i’ve gone bra-less. even my best fitting bra feels like a constraint now that i’m free 95% of the time. i still put one on if i know i’m going to be in a crowd of people (at this moment, the pasar ramadhans) so i do not offend unnecessarily. i just wish more women understood this and freed themselves too so i wouldn’t stand out, walking around without a bra.

i realise how my back and shoulders ache a little when i use bras for just a little while now. and since freeing myself, my breasts have gained more muscle which hold them up better than when i used to wear a bra all the time. and so what if they sag over time? that’s just nature. there’s nothing wrong with an aging body. it’s hit me so hard how much we try to prevent ourselves from aging, when our age and how we age is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place. why do we covet youth so much that we hate and fear the thought of aging?

i just don’t care anymore. i like this freedom. i like my mind not worrying about what’s naturally happening to my body. it’ll take some getting used to, but it will happen – people will stop feeling uncomfortable about me not caging up my breasts.

my breasts along with everyone elses, are no different from the breasts of animals that hang freely, naturally. they are a means to feed babies, not some sexual object that needs to be covered, hidden, worried about. so everyone just needs to

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oneness

i believe within all living things there are souls, and all those souls are really one soul, and that one soul is love – our creator. we live because love wanted to understand itself, and the only way to do it was through life. and in wanting to experience it’s own beauty, it inevitably created ugliness. it’s yin and yang. light does not exist without dark, for if there is no dark, we would not know what light is. light would just be, and we would know no different, and there would be no “beauty”. the same goes for good and bad. happiness and pain. love and hate.

so once we decide we’ve learnt enough through all the pain we’ve created, we find others who have too, and unite with them, uniting love, and live on to just appreciate the beauty we now understand.

marijuana

every time someone gives me attitude and tells me that marijuana is a drug and therefore isn’t good or “right”, i feel like reaching over and strangling them out of frustration. but there is no point in trying to educate people who choose to remain ignorant, so I say the bare minimum and pretend to not be offended by their lack of knowledge or common sense.

attached here is some reading material for those of you who are doubtful about this “drug”.
still believe nature got it wrong? top 10 health benefits of marijuana
“No independent study has ever linked marijuana to psychosocial problems. Cannabis is one of the most powerful healing plants on the planet. Dozens of studies have made pseudoscientific attempts to indicate that young people who use cannabis tend to experience psychological, social problems and mental decline. However, there is no evidence that marijuana use is directly linked with such problems”

marijuana facts
“The conception of marijuana as a potentially fatal, highly addictive narcotic, on which much of last century’s anti-weed propaganda was built, has been disproved by science, which has shown that it’s almost literally impossible for humans to consume enough THC to overdose. (In fact, dying from drinking too much water would be far easier.) ”

10 facts about marijuana 
“There is no compelling evidence that marijuana contributes substantially to traffic accidents and fatalities. In driving studies, marijuana produces little or no car-handling impairment – consistently less than produced by low to moderate doses of alcohol and many legal medications. In contrast to alcohol, which tends to increase risky driving practices, marijuana tends to make subjects more cautious. ”

marijuana vs cigarettes
“After 20 years of testing, researchers found some buzzworthy results: regular marijuana smokers (defined by up to a joint a day for seven years) had no discernible impairment in lung activity from non-smokers. In fact, researchers were surprised to find marijuana smokers performed slightly better than both smokers and non-smokers on the lung performance test. Why? The most likely explanation seems to be that the act of inhaling marijuana—holding each puff in for as long as possible—is a lot like a pulmonary function test, giving marijuana smokers an edge over their cigarette smoking counterparts.”

if you choose to read it, good on you for at least wanting to expose yourself to the truth. there’s a lot you may not know about marijuana. here’s some history on why it became an illegal substance
why marijuana became illegal
“Marijuana has been around since the dawn of recorded history. The first known use of cannabis dates to 7,000 B.C. Marijuana was used as a medicinal herb by the ancient Chinese, Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans for stomach ailments, cramps, and pain. Marijuana was first used in the U.S. for medical purposes in the 1800’s, however, the cannabis (hemp) plant fiber had been in use for thousands of years. Hemp fiber was the main ingredient of the first woven fabric. Hemp was used to make rope, twine, cloth, and paper among other things.”

ignorance annoys me. are we not from the age of information where knowledge is at the tip of our fingers? with all the proof and studies out there, should we not know to question authority when it is being selfish or downright stupid? have we not evolved enough to understand that
– our government does not have our best interest at heart
– our government lies
– there’s a ton of truth being concealed from the general public because someone stands to gain selfishly from it
– we should not just blindly believe what the law tells us

i think it’s wrong that we are being lied to about marijuana. it is frustrating when marijuana is categorized as a drug because it is truly almost harmless. there are much harder drugs in fact, even prescription medicines have more damaging effects if we’re being honest. i think it’s time to come clean and tell the truth.  if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. best decisions are made when the real facts are presented. if you are worried, don’t just tell someone they’re doing something wrong when you don’t even understand what you are talking about. education on the real benefits and effects of this NATURAL PLANT is key in changing the way things are. this is an opportunity for everyone to have a better understanding of reality. if you can’t handle reality, well, then i guess you shouldn’t be on my page ;)

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