Category Archives: music

three

my cousin is visiting this week. so we went to visit another cousin. we’re all so far apart that we hardly see each other at all. but it’s beautiful how the love is still there. how it still feels like family. distance makes no dent in love.

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i also painted my guitar. i love how it looks, but i don’t feel it’s complete yet. couldn’t leave the strings off for too long though, because i missed playing it almost instantly. so i guess i’ll have to pain it in stages.

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bella luna

i chose to welcome being pregnant, before the scary first trimester was over and the pregnancy was confirmed. i made the choice to because even if the pregnancy failed (a good amount of miscarriages occur within the first trimester) the journey of transformation and change within would have already been taking place. and it has.

but such is life. that is for better or worse – what makes this journey a real trip. perfection is in the imperfection. once again i am faced with the opportunity to grow, to learn even more how to wholly and purely embrace the universe. removing expectations of outcomes that sometimes are not the slightest bit in my control, no matter how much i want something.

it is a hard process. the pain of loss i feel though, is not for an unborn child. because it was a blighted ovum (which accounts for about half of first trimester miscarriages), and there is nothing we could have done better over the past 2 months for a different outcome. it stopped developing because nature did what it was supposed to.

the soul that is meant to be our child is somewhere waiting. it is not lost or gone.

what i do feel right now is a sudden emptiness. the idea of finally becoming a mother (which has always mattered more to me than anything else) gave me a sense of purpose beyond anything i’ve ever felt before. now we try again to get pregnant in a few months. and hope that it goes smoothly. that there isn’t some bigger underlining issue that’s caused this to happen. it’s not easy, not knowing if i will be able to carry to full term. just waiting. accepting. hoping. trusting. but that is what we’ll have to do.

guitarand if it’s just not in my cards, there are other options. which i have considered thoroughly as well. so i’m sure whatever happens, at the end of the day we’ll be just fine.

for now, i am playing the guitar.

i will channel all the love that’s built up into music. before we got the news, i had the sudden urge to get a guitar and make sure that music was a part of my (our) life again. so yesterday, my husband bought me one. and it’s been really calming.

let the music heal your soul.
let the music take control.
let the music give you the power to move any mountain ;)

galactic mantra

I am light

I am infinite
I am the channel
I am expanding
I am psychedelic
I am vibration
I am timeless
I am unity

I am activating
I am resonant
I am galactic
I am radiant
I am defined
I am electric
I am lunar
I am magnetic

I am planetary
I am balanced
I am organized
I am connected
I am inspired
I am in harmony
I am integrity
I am perfect

I am manifestation
I am dissolving
I am releasing
I am liberated
I am dedicated
I am universalized and divine and transcending mantra
I am being
I am communicating

I am spirit
I am breathing
I am cosmic
I am essence
I am power
I am action
I am dreaming
I am abundance

I am intuition
I am god
I am extreme
I am internal and external
I am flowering
I am the clocking
I am aware
I am life force

I am surviving
I am dmt
I am spiraling
I am art
I am accomplishing
I am healing
I am beauty
I am elegance

I am pure
I am flowing
I am love
I am chakras
I am coinciding
I am playing
I am magic
I am elusive

I am free will
I am wise
I am exploring
I am space and time
I am waking life
I am vivid
I am enchanting
I am timelessness and complete infinite design

I am alien
I am human
I am receptive
I am vision
I am energy
I am mindful
I am questioning
I am answering

I am intelligent
I am fearless
I am evolving
I am opening my third eye to the unseen vision, translating
I am synchronicity
I am reflecting
I am endlessness
I am order and chaos

I am the tao
I am crystalized
I am self-generation
I am affirming
I am enlightened
I am blind
I am the tone
I am the color

I am electronic
I am lunar and solar, opposite and polar
I am language
I am radial
I am particles of plasma
I am endurance
I am cosmic
I am releasing

I am liberating
I am perfect
I am pulsing
I am realizing
I am the one because the one are all
I am form
I am in the infinite nothing that becomes the everything
I am symbolic

I am relative
I am the divine spirit that harmonizes with the laws, projecting the digital loom
The tool of experiencing the desire and finding ecstasy in the process
I am me, we are you

the Weekend

Just had the longest weekend of my life. Only stopped partying yesterday and now my body hurts like mad. Gonna be recovering the next few days. Note to self : No more chemicals.
But before I disappear again, here are a few photos from Deadmau5. The rest of em would be on facebook.


As Shannya so brilliantly put it, Best. Fucking. Picture.

the Deadmau5 story

I’m assuming everyone already knows what the flyer’s about. And I’m assuming everyone also knows who Deadmau5 is. Right? If you don’t, “Deadmau5 or Joel Thomas Zimmerman, is a Canadian progressive, electro, and house producer based in Toronto, Ontario. He is known for often performing in a titular costume head which he originally created while learning to use a 3D program, which resembles a mouse head.” More Deadmau5 information on his Wikipedia page. But really, all you need to know is that he’s awesome! In epic proportions!
So anyways, here’s an email I opened yesterday.


They had their “If you’re a DJ, what would your stage name be and why?” contest, and here’s what I submitted – DJStrobe, because lights have always fascinated me. It’s also the title of one of Deadmau5’s top songs. Coincidence? I think not. My initial plan was to send in a million and one emails, but I sent that one and decided, hey, if i’m meant to get it, I will. And hey! What do you know?!
I wanna thank Juice here. Coz I thought it’d be too jakun of me to go “thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you!” in an email reply. They’re also gonna give away more tickets, as I highlighted above. Lol. So, go send in an entry and come party with me!
I’ve never considered myself one of those lucky contest winners, coz my luck’s pretty ridiculous most of the time. But yay! Finally! And I’m so excited!