i absolutely have no time to sit in front of the computer to update my blog.
just non-stop work work work. and then night comes and i try to fall asleep as best as i can, even though a million and one things/plans are floating around my head. and then i wake up in the morning and want to jump straight out of bed to complete those million and one things/plans. this is impossible!
i am my own creative team, artist, photographer, graphic designer, editor, accountant and everything in between. sure, my boyfriend is there to support me every step of the way, but my need to know everything that is going on with RAINBOWed forces me to be focused all the time. so much so that there’s barely any free time for me to do anything else nowadays. not sure if being so dedicated is a good or bad thing, but i don’t think i know how to do it any other way.
how is it possible to feel completely organized yet scatterbrained at the exact same time?
2013’s been an AMAZING year though. i don’t even know how to describe how amazing it’s been. it’s been less than a month since RAINBOWed‘s kicked off but it feels like we’ve already done so much. life is so compact with experiences and possibilities that it’s just flying by, without really flying by at all.
i couldn’t be more grateful for all the doors that have been opening up for us!!!
funny how i spent most of my life not knowing where i stood in people’s lives. not feeling like i truly mattered, or belonged. just accepting that i was the odd one out. maybe i was odd. maybe i still am. but my life is now filled with so many “odd” people, that it kinda feels like i have a second family.
i am SO enjoying every single moment that passes now.
i hope you are doing exactly what you love and enjoying your life too (:
i think for the first time since i started blogging 5 years ago, i can say i haven’t updated because i’ve been busy and really truly mean it. life has been quite hectic, but in the most amazing of ways. as everyone probably already knows by now, rainbowed kicked off not too long ago.
i’m not really the kind of person who spends time thinking of achieving big things. not because i’m not capable of dreaming them up. i am. but in many ways i’ve always feared wanting these seemingly illusive accomplishments, feared i would not be able to cope with the disappointment i’d feel towards myself for failing. even though i’ve always in some way or another done what i’ve wanted to do, i’ve kept myself from setting goals and having such desires. settled for being an extraordinary person, doing somewhat ordinary things.
but the time for change has come. the old me dies with the mayan calender. the me that allowed myself to not chase the stars. the me that feared imperfection. the me that saw failure.
this me knows how much i’m capable of achieving, as soon as i put my mind (heart and soul) to it. i no longer want to go by unnoticed; just a regular joe. sure, i will never be a ceo of some world renown company. or lead my country in politics. or make millions of dollars to stash in my bank account. but i will dream, and dream big!
i will do what i do. i will give it my all.
i will live with passion, self belief and determination.
then through sharing it, i will change the world.
and if anyone ever sees me letting myself off the hook for giving up, slap me in the face! with, like, words or something. not literally ;)
p/s: i have been using any free time i have to pick up playing poi. coz it’s one of the few things i’ve chosen to try and focus on at the moment. and it’s awesome!
i’ve had other offers, but i never truly felt ready as most of the stuff I make are random. but recently my boyfriend and i realised that i’ve collected quite a bit of random stuff, and would stand to lose nothing if i just gave it a go.
and just like magic, i found out the next day about playthora. an event to promote the psychedelic culture/scene in malaysia. if that isn’t fated, i don’t know what is!
it’s a little nerve wrecking. the way you’d feel doing anything for the first time. but i’m definitely looking forward to opening RAINBOWed up to more opportunities.
after this, i hope to be setting up more booths and sharing my love for art with the whole world! (: