Category Archives: bitching


my mother is law is a real piece of work.

i suppose most mother in laws are, but i only have the pleasure of dealing with my own.

i don’t say much about her to anyone except probably my own mum because for the most part, what does it matter. i can ignore it a good portion of the time and smile it off as much as i can.

today, she felt the need to express to me (alongside her equally irritating childhood friend) that my hair doesn’t suit me. that it doesn’t look nice. that it looks like beggars in india. which for a good 5-10 minutes, i completely just shrugged it off saying “yup” “only some people like it” “hahaha yeah it’s hard to wash and takes a long time to dry” “it might not be the healthiest (to you) but neither is chemically dying hair, right?” “yeah i’ve had it short, long, curly, straight. it’s just hair lah” “my natural hair would be really crazy curly and messy, not so nice and pretty (the way you want it to look)”.

then they left for dinner, came back, and in the middle of some other conversation – her friend decided to make some ugly comments about beggars in nepal and india and how she came back to find that here too (in hokkien the whole way, not knowing i understood every single word). i ignored that too. just decided to open a book and start reading.

Yoong expressed that he was tired because he knew i wasn’t in the greatest place to be dealing with more (especially after just getting back from my grandmother’s funeral), so the friend and sister left. she (mil) walked them out, came back again and decided of all things – she’d say “i think ah, your hair really doesn’t look good on you blablablablablablablablabla” to which i said “okay. but it’s not really nice to say things like that to people”.

and then shit hit the fan.

i cannot remember the words that came out of her mouth after that. some justification on why she said that, and that it was her friend’s opinion (fair enough, but she did not need to put effort into telling me again) more blablablablablablabla. to which i said “aunty, please leave”. and then she said “who are you”.

wrong move, mil. 

because whether you like it or not (obviously not), i am your son’s wife. HIS WIFE. i don’t say this to you because there’s absolutely no need for me to. because the fact is, I AM his wife. and in this little game of tug and war you think we’re playing, there is simply no competition. never has been. never will be.

your son loves you because you are his mother. i respect that, and allow plenty of space for you to irritate and piss him off (which you do, all the time). in fact, what you don’t know is that i tell him to hug you. to call you and spend some time over the phone with you coz you might miss him. insist on not giving up on trying to fix what you broke in the first place. continue supporting him throughout the ups and downs he faces with you. 

but make no mistake. continue crossing the line and you will find yourself blocked out someday. with him, right here with me. 

i would feel slightly threatened if Yoong is a loyal puppy dog to his extremely loving mother. or maybe i wouldn’t even need to because if she were loving and nice, we wouldn’t have a problem to begin with. but there is no threat.

you are a constant reminder to him of the things he hates about having to deal with family. the never ending pressure to give give give. perform. behave. respect. be obedient. bow down. obey. 

in the snap of a finger, i could put you in your place and show you who i am. and who you aren’t.

but instead of doing that, i tell Yoong to see the good in her. to let the way he sees her change. to heal. to love again. to love stronger. i’m starting to think, that’s quite fucking pointless. really. what’s the point of putting in all the effort i can when she hasn’t got the slightest bit of decency, compassion, empathy or manners.

sometimes i really feel like saying “omg aunty. your clothes are damn over the top lah. can you dress your age ah? stop being so humiliating to just about anyone you are standing around” or “eeeeee. i cannot stand your taste. why so gaudy. why you waste so much money on something so ugly. wah, the renovation job on your house is quite shit isn’t it?”

i keep going back to the same fork in the road. continue to keep trying to be nice for the sake of my husband, to learn to rise above things and train myself to be unaffected or just treat her the way she treats everyone else.

hmmm. decisions. decisions.

Big is beautiful?

Why is it alright to tell a skinny person to eat more, but not a fat person to eat less?
I’ve always been of normal/average weight. 53kg at the moment. 46kg at my lightest, 65kg at my heaviest. People never seemed to have a problem telling me to eat more when I was thin. It was always, “You’re too skinny, eat more!“, “You’re tiny, eat more!“, “Have you been eating anything lately? Here, have some of my food“. You get the picture. It’s like, being thin was such a problem, people were so afraid of me being bulimic and hurting myself.
But at my heaviest, no one had anything to say. Well, not to my face at least. I’d ask the boyfriend and he would say that he didn’t notice a difference. Or that I was as beautiful as before. And friends didn’t get upset with me for going on the munchies and devouring breakfast, lunch and dinner at a seating, and then some. No one ever pulled me aside and went “God you’ve turned into such a fat pig!”. I had to look myself in the mirror and do that. And then decide to make a change on my own.
So why did people literally shove food into my mouth when I wasn’t eating, and not grab food away from me when I was eating too much? 

Being fat has become such a sensitive issue. People find ways to tiptoe around it because fat people by right, already know they’re fat. And you don’t want to bring down their self esteem by saying it to their face. 
It shouldn’t be about that though. Being fat isn’t bad because it makes you less attractive. Being fat is bad because it’s unhealthy. The same reason being skinny is bad. Eat too little or too much and you’re exposing yourself to all kinds of future, if not current, health problems. Isn’t that cause enough to make a change?
People need to stop thinking that the biggest issue with weight is how it affects appearance. Then maybe there would be less overweight people because people in general wouldn’t be so afraid of stating facts to their face. 
I’ve heard a lot of people say that they’re proud of being big and beautiful. Like it’s something that you teach yourself to be proud of. You do that with height, or race issues. Teach yourself to accept it, and love it, because those are things you can’t change. Being unhealthy is not the same thing.

I have unhealthy friends. I love some of my unhealthy friends to death. I constantly tell the thin ones to stop dieting because they don’t need to lose any weight. But I don’t call the fat ones fat because it would bruise their egos. I have tried, subtly, but it’s not like I could even go up to them and say “Hey, I think you’re unhealthy and maybe we should work on improving that” without them thinking I’ve just called them fat.

I think everyone should just get off their lazy asses and at least exercise at least a little. Go ahead and stick to small meals if that’s all you need to survive. Or keep eating, if food is what you love. Try to eat less if you find yourself eating more than what your friends are, combined. But claiming to love the way you look is definitely no excuse for not being healthy. You can be healthy and love yourself more. 
I know some people say they try, but they never lose any weight, then they stop. Well I say, don’t give up. So what if you think you haven’t lost any weight in the end. I bet you, you wouldn’t be as out of breath after a couple of months at the gym as you were before signing up (Or just plain simple jogging if you don’t have time/money for the gym). And that’s really the results you should be looking for. Not all chubby people are unhealthy. But all unhealthy people are lazy. Too damned lazy to make that change that they so badly need to be making.

It’s time to stop waiting for tomorrows. Go do something today!

p/s : This post was not meant to offend any of my thin or fat friends. Just the lazy, unhealthy ones.

Facebook Chat Etiquette

There’s no shortage of ways to irritate friends over Facebook nowadays. Over-poking, updating your status every 5 minutes, updating your status with yawn-worthy things, tYpInG LiKe ThIs aLL tHe dAmNeD TiMe. Photobucket
Heck I’m sure even I have annoyed my facebook friends on occasions as well, what, with my constant page suggestions and shit. But fanpage / event invites go out all the time, and it doesn’t really bug me. Yes, I’m pretty tolerant towards most things other people might find annoying.

Most, but not all. Because somewhere in that huge-ass sea of functions that facebook offers, there is this thing called Facebook Chat. And for some reason, people have forgotten how to behave with properly. Or maybe they just stopped caring.
With the exception of an hour here and there, I have had my facebook chat set to offline from the moment they introduced it. And here is why. I can’t go 10 minutes without someone wasting my time on something completely pointless.
You : how r u
Me : awesome! how bout u?
You : good
Me : sorry, but have we spoken before? or are we silent facebook friends? hehe.
You : no
If you’re choosing to talk to someone new over facebook chat, you should put some thought into it before dropping a line by. Don’t start a conversation if you have no intentions of following through with it. I wouldn’t mind getting to know you, but if you’re being so ridiculous, I’d rather not try.
You : what you doing
Me : just stoning. and watching youtube videos.
You : ok
Me : what are u up to there? :)
You : nothing
Dude. Like, talk. Talk about yourself, ask me about myself, bring up some random thought that’s crossed your mind. Point out that the sky is bright, or that the night is dark. Anything’s better than nothing. Coz nothing is boring.
You : hi
Me : hey :)
You : can i fuck you?
Do I even need to explain that one? Deleted and blocked thankyouverymuch.
I’m perfectly fine chatting with real friends, no matter how chaotic it gets sometimes. And once in a while I have a really good conversation with a stranger. I know some of you may find it weird, but I think it’s kinda fun. I spend too much time hanging around the same people and being antisocial. Sometimes I feel like making a change. But then I get on facebook chat, and I get nonsense like that. So I guess this goes out to anyone and everyone who has thought about chatting with me. Please, please sort your shit out first.
I’m trying to give this facebook chat thing a chance. I miss talking to some friends and I’d like to be able to reconnect with them at random. Will you boring/stupid/dirty fucks leave me alone? If you feel offended, or my bitchiness has turned you off, go ahead and take yourself off my facebook account. It’d save us both some time. Yes, I know I can be pretty pissy at times. But if you’re trying real hard and I don’t reply to something you say, it’s probably me, not you. I could be either away, really busy doing something else, or in an antisocial mood. You can take your pick and try again later if you want to.
You : hi
You : busy?
You : are you there?
You : sorry dc
You : hi
You : still busy?
Okay. Sometimes it is you. And maybe, just maybe, you could take a hint and understand that I’m not bloody interested in having a conversation with you because we’ve gone down that road before and I think you fit into one of those categories above. If it makes anyone feel better, you could ignore me too if I try to start talking to you someday. I’m perfectly fine with the occasional rejection.

Whores Next Door

**Ugh. Edit. Because some people may think this is coming out of jealousy. And then may want to start a bitchfight on it. And really, I don’t wanna bother.
I want to state here FIRST, before you read on. I am not conservative nor am I a saint. And I do have a desire to be known someday. I just do not wish to put the two together and get famous for such degrading reasons. Thank you very much :)
Also, chill a little, won’tcha? Why take my post so seriously? It’s only MY opinion on things. Below is the original post I put up. Now go ahead and read! :D**

FHM Malaysia’s Girl Next Door contestants. Or more appropriately, Whores Next Door.
Popularity has it’s perks. Not having to put in as much effort into things you do once you’re famous just because we live in a world in which people are fascinated by celebrities. And I shall not deny the fact that even I would love to achieve stardom someday. I’ve never wanted to be a nobody.
But I would never want my claim to fame to come from nationally whoring myself out.
3 out of the 12 Whore Next Door contestants. Photos taken for FHM Malaysia spread.
And these girls are happy about their pictures being posted up on FHM’s wall, where horny man, probably in the middle of wanking, leave comments like “Girl Next Door that I’d really love to skodeng“, “My lil bro went uppp high” and “I dream of (insert name)..and she’s not wearing a dress”. And then these girls thank the people for their wonderful comments -_____-” Have they no respect for themselves?

Right picture, enhanced, photoshopped and airbrushed to perfection. If you can’t tell, stare at her right boob (does it not look weird to you?) That’s not the way it looks in real life. If you don’t believe me, go look for more of her photos. I do not want my post to be about tits. Not this one anyways.
Left picture’s more natural, but ugly as fuck for a model-wannabe. And strangely, that’s your winner.
Now, there’s been some debate on why the heck she won in the first place. But really, none of it makes a difference. Some say she’s ugly and shouldn’t win (admitting flat out that the contest is about just looking good), and then other people retort by saying that it’s about who the person is, not how they look.
Also bloody rubbish! Because if FHM GND’s contest wasn’t about looks and the fantasies these girls give you, they wouldn’t get asked things like “which vegetable satisfies you the most”. Yes, an actual question posed to the GND girls of 2009 by Red FM’s DJ Han. If it was really about personality, we would see ordinary not so good looking girls, not rubbing their boobs in your face in the FHM spread. Oh wait. The first part’s already happened.
What does standing in bikinis have to do with excellent personality? And as for the role-model side of the girls that join this contest. FHM Malaysia GND contest is sponsored by Carlsberg. Coz life’s pointless if you haven’t got a beer in your hand, right?
My point of this post is not to criticize the girls for looking bad. That was just for fun. Looks have never stopped me from loving my friends or making new ones. My point here is that I don’t see why the hell girls are subjecting themselves to that kind of treatment? Go join Miss Malaysia where at least you’re treated with some respect.
Getting asked what kind of vegetable makes for the best dildo! wtfuck people?!
p/s : My apologies to probably that ONE contestant who has never slept with anyone to get to where she is now and didn’t know what was headed her way when she joined :)

a Fake profile?

Thanks to everyone’s efforts…
First of all, friends on my FB, go to .
Then click on Report/Block this person. Select fake profile. And submit.
Coz that is exactly what’s going on. Someone has created a fake profile for me.

And is clearly trying to make me look really bad.

I am upset that someone on my private profile has been so untrustworthy to allow this person to access my photos. I am upset that someone I’ve personally known in life has the cruelty to want to make that profile. And then add my parents, my brother and my cousins to it.
But mostly I am sad. I am sad for the person who created that profile. For them to have nothing more important to do with their time than to go through 2500 photos of me, just to look for “incriminating” ones. And who spends new year’s day uploading photos to a fake profile? Kind of depressing.
What I am not though, is scared. I am not scared that anyone gets to see those pictures. I have been as honest as I could have been with the “happenings” in my life. Blog readers would have come across many posts in the past about the boyfriends I have had. Pictures, feelings, everything. And the people in my life know about the choices I have made. They love me for who I am, regardless of the stupidity of certain things I have done and may do. I’m not afraid of what could be posted there, because it is flat out, not me posting. I do a good enough job posting ridiculous things on my own, in my real facebook and here.
The following paragraph is for you, the person behind my fake facebook, whoever you are.
I am sorry I ever did anything to you to drive you to such levels of insanity. I am sorry life made you that crazy. I want you to know that I am here, and once you come clean, I am going to be willing to listen to what you have to say, to talk out our issues together, and to try and find a solution for them. However content you are with what you’re doing right now, you know it’s just not right. And you need help.
On a more positive note, as most bloggers would agree with me, a hater is still a reader, right?
And you’ve gotta be a pretty important person to actually have haters out there.
Fame! Here I come!