Category Archives: breaking the system

dreaming realist

what if i told you my dream is to someday live on a farm? to rear animals and have fresh fruits and vegetables growing in my own backyard. to spend my days cooking meals for my family, taking care of our land and raising my children. to not live with luxuries or money, but instead be modest, humble and self sustainable.

does that change the way you look at me? do you see me as unambitious because i refuse to chase a career? will you see me as poor?

i envision a world where every family has ample land. where people realise that all we need to survive is LOVE, some food on our table and a roof over our heads. where no one needs to suffer to make money and children are raised by wise parents who know how to love and have time to spend with them. where everyone’s bare feet are familiar with walking on earth. not some concrete floor. or carpets. or tiles. there would be fresh air to breathe, real food to eat, active lifestyles to live and an abundance of love.

in this world, there would be so much less suffering. less dependence on technology. less strive and desperation to make money for meaningless purchases. people would just be happy with the basics. enjoying human interaction. watching plants grow and animals play around. animals would run free instead of sit in cages awaiting their death; a much more pleasant experience then what living is to them.

we would spend lifetimes getting to know each other. building bonds, understanding, loving, supporting one another as we journey through life. people would welcome strangers into their lives with open arms and not hidden agendas. we would be hardworking and trustworthy out of choice, not force. and when someone fails to do their part or makes a mistake, we would combat that with love. not punishments, anger or hate.

what if this world i envision is not out of reach? what if many people envision the same thing, but have given up hope or don’t believe that it’s possible? what if all it takes is for everyone to just believe – and then it comes true?

we are the people who make this world/culture we live in. if we want change and we start being that change, who’s to tell us that such a seemingly far fetched idea isn’t just a step away?

yes, it will be hard. but the only people stopping us from truly enjoying life is ourselves. i refuse to be my own enemy. this world i envision, i will start living it. even if the rest of the world doesn’t join me.

my measure of wealth is not what i can buy for myself or what holidays i can afford. it is how understanding i can be. how much love i can give. how much i can appreciate having the few things that matter and ignore not having the rest.

the less i need, the richer i am.

i sure am glad i came to this realization with so much left of my life to live.

labour of love

i have always sucked at making money. because of that, i have been judged as lazy, unmotivated, ambition-less. i wish to clear something up today. it is not that i can’t push myself to make money. i just simply choose not to.

i choose instead, to focus on the simpler things in life. i want to work on being content with less and less until someday i do not feel the desire to have material possessions. that doesn’t mean i’d throw everything in a bin. of course i’d treasure what i already have, i just don’t want to dedicate my life to the constant chase of a misdirected idea of success and stability.

i don’t want anyone to think it’s easy. consciously knowing and accepting that doing what i love comes with financial instability is scary. trying to live with less is a tough journey; one that takes a lot of determination in the current society we live in. everyone’s always striving to be able to afford more. beauty enhancements, outrageous holidays, better gadgets, more luxuries, nicer cars, bigger houses and the list is never ending.

removing the desire to have everything and more is torturous in ways. some part of me does want all the riches in the world. but the one thing i do have that keeps me on track is love. who i love, what i love, why i love, how i love.

i’ve thought about it hard. at the end of this lifetime (and any other), i don’t think it would matter what i owned or how much there is saved up in my bank.

it would matter to me what i spend my life doing. how hard i struggle to fight the currents of the mainstream society to stay true to myself. the hurdles that i jump over. how much i continuously grow. what experiences i share and lessons i pass on. how i love. how many bonds i forge with the people i love. how many bonds i forge with strangers. and most importantly, how sincere and unselfish my intentions are in doing anything i do.

with that i hereby state –

i do not dream of rainbowed being a successful “business” someday. the stuff i sell there is frequently under-priced for the amount of effort i put into it. and as it continues to grow, i will find ways to shrink the prices instead of charging people more until the day i can give everything away for free. i do not want to “get rich or die trying”.

my true goal with rainbowed is to use it as a channel to spread love and flood the world with colours in the hope that people will in turn let their true colours shine more brightly too; and pass it forward. for that reason, i hope my audience and reach grows because slowly but surely, if i choose to use what little influence i have in a positive way on my surroundings, my surroundings will change.

so yes, i will continue to suck at making money. and i will be proud of that because money doesn’t matter. money doesn’t matter one bit. there is so much more in life that we could be doing. and that’s the path i will always choose (:


i absolutely have no time to sit in front of the computer to update my blog.

Untitled-3just non-stop work work work. and then night comes and i try to fall asleep as best as i can, even though a million and one things/plans are floating around my head. and then i wake up in the morning and want to jump straight out of bed to complete those million and one things/plans. this is impossible!

i am my own creative team, artist, photographer, graphic designer, editor, accountant and everything in between. sure, my boyfriend is there to support me every step of the way, but my need to know everything that is going on with RAINBOWed forces me to be focused all the time. so much so that there’s barely any free time for me to do anything else nowadays. not sure if being so dedicated is a good or bad thing, but i don’t think i know how to do it any other way.

how is it possible to feel completely organized yet scatterbrained at the exact same time?

2013’s been an AMAZING year though. i don’t even know how to describe how amazing it’s been. it’s been less than a month since RAINBOWed‘s kicked off but it feels like we’ve already done so much. life is so compact with experiences and possibilities that it’s just flying by, without really flying by at all.

i couldn’t be more grateful for all the doors that have been opening up for us!!!

funny how i spent most of my life not knowing where i stood in people’s lives. not feeling like i truly mattered, or belonged. just accepting that i was the odd one out. maybe i was odd. maybe i still am. but my life is now filled with so many “odd” people, that it kinda feels like i have a second family.

i am SO enjoying every single moment that passes now.

i hope you are doing exactly what you love and enjoying your life too (:



I believe people should stop playing the race game. Politicians and the government use fear to garner votes; playing people against each other. They make you feel like if you don’t vote for a certain political party, your rights as person of a certain race will be taken away. They cheat. They lie. Anything and everything to hold on to the power they have so greedily kept to themselves for the good/benefit of no one else.

It doesn’t matter if you’re malay, chinese, indian or “lain-lain” ;) Together, we are the people. It is not about us fighting for the rights of any specific race. It’s about us standing up together to regain the power that is so rightfully ours. We are capable of bringing the change we want to see to our country/world. Not some stupid government.

So let us knock BN off their high horse and show them that we can’t be bought the way they can. We are in charge of our own future. It is time for them to fear us. It is time for us to be free.

black sheep. ugly duckling.

i’d be lying if i said i thought my life would ever be what it is right now. i am glad beyond words to be here, but who would have known i’d end up walking down such an unconventional path? being a somewhat hippie (the category i assume most people would comfortably place me in), i have all the time in the world to do anything i wish to do. bake, cook, paint, tie dye, make art, practice yoga, get involved in the psychedelic culture, dance, learn to poi, make more art, help my boyfriend plant our garden. these many little hobbies actually keep me extremely occupied and i find myself wishing there were more hours in a day so i could get more done.

to think that there was a time when i wanted to feel “normal”. when i didn’t understand why i never felt like i fit in. why i couldn’t push myself to do what everyone else was doing.

being different though, has always come too naturally for me. i was never bothered with studies in school. instead i used performing arts/drama at every chance i got, to skip classes and do something creative. after highschool, i attempted to do the whole college thing because everyone seemed to be headed there and i honestly expected it to be a fun experience. i then discovered that college was not only a waste of money, it was a waste of my potential and brain cells as well. so i stopped. throughout my stint in college, in order to make some pocket money, i started working. it didn’t take too long for me to understand that i didn’t really enjoy the typical working life either. not if it came at the expense of my freedom and creativity or forced me to suck up to people who claimed to deserve respect, yet put in no effort into gaining said respect. so after what seemed like ages of working part time for people while trying to make the best out of my life, i quit.

i always thought quitting was for quitters. the right way, was to sit through torture, just so i could get a paycheck at the end of the month and continue living. i allowed myself to feel like a failure. not bringing in the $. not being able to afford the fancy crap people around me were buying.

and then it hit me! i wasn’t the one in the wrong. everyone else was. and everyone else still is! why do we waste our lives doing what we don’t want to do, just to make money? what good is that money then, when we don’t truly get to enjoy life? i understand that people have to do things in order to survive. but survival means a roof over your head and food on the table. not fashion, splurging on shopping sprees or having the latest technology. making enough to support materialism is what survival has become. sure it’s hard to remove desires, especially when we are subjected to mainstream media and made to feel for the lack of a better word shitty when we fall behind on what’s new. but i’ve managed to find a way to do what i love, survive, and enjoy life at the same time. i live; for the most part; stress free and happy. why aren’t more people investing in their own lives in a way that counts more?

probably because it is not the easier path, is it? there’s a misconception that lazy people; people who don’t choose to further their studies or aim for a high paying job aren’t hardworking enough. take it from someone like me. someone living outside of her box. it is so much harder to go against the norm and just fight to be who you feel you are. enslaving one’s self is easy. you sign away a huge chunk of your life to some corporation, and just learn to bark when they tell you to. knowing yourself and achieving accordingly is what takes determination. not the other way around.

this isn’t to say that i don’t understand some of you work because you feel you have no choice. it has been explained to me on countless occasions and i know not everyone can just quit their job and be stress free. i just think that there’s always a choice. perhaps i’m lucky. lucky that my parents picked up on and encouraged my creative talents. lucky that i speak good english, making communication easier. lucky that i was brought up with love, and thought that having things didn’t matter as much. but we are capable of changing our lives whenever we decide the time for it has come.

the time is now. the time is always now. don’t wait another day to discover what your true passion or calling is. don’t put your soul on hold. search for your innermost self, because that is the only thing that can truly make you happy. once you find it, drop anything unnecessary and chase that dream! i promise you, it will be worthwhile!