Category Archives: my kittens

my little baby, tao

crying’s never really been my thing. i don’t exactly know why i am that way, but it’s probably got to do with how i was brought up. where crying never really was an escape. instead, it was better to be strong and smart, and debate/fight my way out of things. crying for no reason was weak. at least that’s how i remember feeling. the only occasions that really push me to crying are those of extreme frustration in dealing with situations that are near impossible or can not be dealt with because i honestly enjoy problem solving. i like seeing issues as opportunities for improvement or growth. or lessons to be learnt. and when i reach a dead end, i back away. there are very few people in my life i will not walk away from. and even fewer that can affect me to the point of making me tear up. and since my life has taken a turn for the better, i’ve hardly had any reason at all to cry.

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today, tao died. my cat had 3 kittens, all of which have passed away over the past week. i wish i could have done something, but they were so little and i figured all it took was their mum taking care of them, before they got slightly older and needed to be dewormed etc. sooooo sad. tao was the hardest to say goodbye to since he slept with me and was really comfortable with us. a part of me feels like it wants to cry, but there’s a block. death to me is hardly something to mourn over.

to me, death is more of a celebration. a celebration of a lifetime (however short) spent here. and a celebration on passing on to the next life. whether that means reincarnation on earth as another being, or crossing over to another dimension altogether. mourning over a death seems unnecessary as it’s more a reflection of how those left behind feel and not of those who have passed. i’d imagine when my time comes someday, i’d want everyone to know that i am happy. happy to have lived, and happy to be leaving. and i’d want them – to their best efforts – to hold on to and celebrate all that was good.

but that’s just me. i used to feel like maybe something was not right on my insides. that i was supposed to feel so much more emotions and not feeling it, meant i was cold. but i have never been cold. today i realised i’m just more willing to let go of things when the time for it to leave comes. and my little baby tao will forever be in my memories.

au naturel

i’ve decided to go green. in as many ways as life allows me to at the moment. i put it that way because there’s so much more i want to do and change, but planning things take time. saving up for it does too. but over the past few months i have done my research and decided to take the first few steps, which i hear can be the hardest thing to do.

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i have 1 – stopped using shampoo and conditioner, mainly because dreads do not do well with products and also because products do actually damage your hair and skin, when it gets washed down your face and body. so i am now using the no-(sham)poo method. that means replacing shampoo with a baking soda + water mix and conditioning with apple cider vinegar + water.

i have also 2 – quit facial wash and replaced it with a combination of lemon/papaya/banana/yogurt/honey/aloevera. i am very happy to report that since quitting facial products completely, my skin no longer gets irritated, it looks healthier and glows more without ever getting oily. and my decade long battle with acne has finally come to an end!!! even at that time of the month when my skin usually decides to be a pain in my ass. apparently all the effort i put in with experimenting on all kinds of different creams/washes/scrubs was pointless because it kept my skin from healing instead of doing what it said it would do – fix it. took a while for me to really realize the damage that make up had on my skin as well. shouldn’t the priority of any advertising be a warning of how fucked up these products actually are?

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moving on…
thanks to my boyfriend’s love of nature and desire to have a farm, we have started 3 – planting our own greens. lucky me!

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we now have a LOT of stuff growing in and around the house. aloevera, oregano, chili, lime, papaya, brinjal, ladies finger, cucumber, sunflower, caladium, citronella geranium (anti mosquito plant) and crawlers. watching and waiting for them to grow is such a joy and torture at the same time. i wish i could go to sleep and wake up to fully matured plants that are flowering/fruiting but that’s just not how nature works, is it?

this process of going natural is teaching me to be patient and content with what is. i have discovered that being one with nature is extremely relaxing and healing. it’s shocking how people have drifted away from everything natural to live in a society centered on stress. work and technology. i personally would not remove technology from anyone’s life, but i think balance between the new and old is key. if you asked me, everyone should grow their own edible fruits/vegetables. it’s cost effective too, not having to buy greens once u can just harvest your own!

life has been so good to me! i find myself increasingly happier by the day and even when i don’t ask for more, happy things keep finding a way to sneak up on me and smack me right in the face.

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our cat (shpongle) had 3 kittens a week back. they are too adorable! when we had shpongle and her first 3 kittens, their genders were almost impossible to guess. but since having them and knowing what to look out for, i’m pretty sure we just had 2 boys and a girl. full confirmation only possible when the boys’ balls become visible :D

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my kitty inspired doodles.

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it’s the first time in years that i’ve had pets (not counting fishes). but i just couldn’t say no when my friend had kittens to get rid of. there’s something about watching these tiny lil things play around and grow up that’s so healing. maybe it’s knowing i’m responsible in some ways of a life or lives that aren’t my own.

i have to say though, i doubt i’d feel the same way about having dogs. kittens don’t need as much attention, especially when there’s 3 of them. i love how they kinda do their own thing, but know where their home is at the same time. they’ve been exploring on their own, but they still sleep in our room at this point. i’ve always had a weak spot for tiny little things. anything small, really. and i think my kittens are absolutely adorable! it almost makes them jumping all over me while i’m asleep and waking me up alright.

i hope they grow up fast, start running around outside and stop needing to poop in their litter box soon so i don’t have to scoop poop twice a day anymore. but at the same time, i hope they stay tiny forever too! i guess that’s how parents feel about kids huh? :D

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how could anyone not love that?